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Many criminals after serving their time behind bars usually commit crimes again. Why do you think this is so? Give causes and solutions to it.
(250 words, 40 minutes)
It is generally believed that culprits
who do crimes, tend to repeat them crimes after completing their punishment period in the jail. Hence, In this essay, I will discuss in detail about the causes and solutions to of this problem.
Culprits are defined as those who are guilty of a crime. Can’t write “culprits who do crimes.
Who/what is “them”. A pronoun must have a noun it refers to. “Them” in your case can refer to both culprits and crimes.
“The” is not needed before ‘jail’. Learn its usage.
There are some criminals who suffer from psychological illnesses. They are more prone to do illegal activities,
then than people with a healthy and sound mind. (Sorry buddy, can’t compare “criminals” to “people”. Better compare them to “other criminals”.) Can’t end a sentence with that. Link that with the essay topic “crimes after being released”.
Rephrase: Some criminals, who suffer from psychological illness, are more prone to commit illegal activities than others. Since most of these criminals are released from jails without any psychiatric treatment, they tend to commit crimes after they have been released.
However, apart from psychological illnesses, Another major factor of repeating the crime is due to the lack of adequate punishment given awarded to inhabitants of the lock-up the criminals. Punishment for a crime should be so strong that it acts as a deterrent to any future crime.
For example, if a prisoner commits a crime, he/she must be dealt with a heavy fine and punishment.
as deserved by that particular criminal.
Here I have cut many words to follow the principle of “BREVITY” that is central to correct English writing. Why write 4 words when you can do with 2? Without losing the sense, of course.
According to me, solution to this issue is vital to prevent crimes from the society.
Several solutions come to my mind to prevent any such criminal activity. Firstly, prisoners must be regularly checked by consultant psychiatrists and psychologists to identify any
psychological mental health issues. If someone is suffering from a psychiatric disorder, suitable medication or psychological and counseling should be offered to that particular criminal. Secondly, there must be some healthy and constructive activities in the jail to divert the minds of the criminals from negativity to positivity. like cricket,football,volley ball and tennis. Sports activities such as cricket, football, and tennis, in turn, reduce the stress and remove certain criminal thoughts from their brain. Thirdly, inmates should be offered vocational training or skill in collaboration with modern industry to enhance opportunities so that they chances of finding a suitable job after their tenure of imprisonment has finished.
Please note: ‘like’ or ‘such as’ are used with exact words to which they refer. You used like with criminals. So, cricket, football, volleyball, and tennis refer to “criminals” and not “games”. On the other hand, I have used these with “sports”. Let me know if you need more explanation.
if crime rate has to be reduced in order to prevent prisoners from relapsing into criminal activities, there should be strict and deterrents rules when it comes to punishment and , compulsory psychological counselling of the inmates, mandatory participation in sports and exercise should be compulsory for everyone in the prison.there should be, and vocational and marketable training for every prisoner to secure a respectable job post imprisonment period. who is good at something like sports or in academic activities.
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Categories: Writing Task 2