IELTS Essay correction: fewer languages lead to harmony or loss of identity?

Several languages die every year. Many people feel this a positive trend and that a world with fewer languages promotes harmony and understanding between people. Other say that language extinction leads to loss of individuality. Agree or Disagree?

Answer:

Due to the modern communication and information transfer, dominant languages make minor languages go out of communication.

In introduction you are supposed to explain the topic, not give reasons. Let me rephrase: In a modern hyperconnected world few languages have dominated the global landscape leading to silent demise of numerous vernacular/ local languages.

While many people claim view this trend as positive with fewer languages to communicate worldwide promoting global integration and unity, Conversely others criticize this language extinction saying the lose of of individual identity of oneself. as loss of linguistic diversity.

However,I suggest a communicative integration with fewer than thousands of languages.  (Your view is not clear. What do you mean?)

In positive (what is positive? Extinction or diversity?) perspective, our time has brought united the whole world under the same shed umbrella of vision in terms of modern communication, science and technology, education, trade and commerce, cultural representation at cetera etcetera. And all the aforementioned modern phenomena which are aforementioned are based on common language and communication systems. For instance, English language plays a vital role nowadays, hence, formulating a few standardized modes of communication would in reduceing the global business communication barriers which now people face owing to numerous underdeveloped languages.

On the contrary other hand, demolishing regional or less useful languages is similar to the extinction of one’s own cultural identity and the sacrificing their identity of nationalism.

Wrong pronoun usage. Whom does ‘their’ refer to?  

In addition, if anyone cannot learn the newly introduced artificial foreign language, then he/she would not suit himself/herself with the new modern lifestyle. Similarly, while losing one’s own mother tongue they try to learn another one, they become the worst victims of cultural invasion and assault which destroys their self-esteem for cultural backdrop. Finally, no culture culture can be transferred in another language. Thus,introducing new languages and removing current ones may make the minor languages much more threats of die out.

Give an example of language extinction. Can you think of it in your area/country? Without good examples no essay will be awarded 7 bands or above.

In conclusion, observing both views it can be recommended that a universal and perceptible language is essential to maintain worldwide communication in any international dealings; however, it has not essential to remove many languages indiscriminately this should not be done at the expense of local languages. But fewer languages quite easy approach to integrate the world in a more understandable way.   (Words 276)

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