The table below gives information about the underground railway system in six countries.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
20 minutes, 150 words at least.
Correcting a Facebook friend’s answer.
The table shows the underground railway network (It does not SHOW the railways, but present INFORMATION on railways. Right?) in six different countries by date opened, size (What is SIZE?) and people usage.
The given table presents information on opening date, route length and the number of travelers in six different underground railway networks.
it is clear that clearly (respect brevity.) London’s system was the most ancient and the longest one among the other systems. In comparison, Kyoto network was the shortest and the least usage by passengers passenger traffic (prefer active voice), as compared (You’ve already made one comparison. Don’t make another in the same sentence) to Tokyo network was the most crowded. The underground railway system of London considered the most ancient one which opened in 1863 with 394 km (Haven’t you already said this. Avoid repetition.) and the passengers which traveling across this are 775 millions million. Likewise, 1191 millions million people yearly per annum are using Paris’s network, which opened in 1900 and is considered the second longest one after London’s network. Tokyo’s network is the most usage with 1927 millions travellers yearly (again, you’ve already said this. Remember “the most crowded”?), which opened in at the end of the third decade of the twentieth century with route size (route has length, not size.) 155 km, while the shortest and the least use is Kyoto’s system with 11 km and 45 millions travellers (Again, you’ve already said this above), which started to work in 1981.
The underground railway network of Washington DC started to work in 1976 with 126 km route
size length and 144 million passengers yearly per annum, whereas the modern one was Los Angeles system which opened in 2001 and accounting for 50 millions travellers per year with 28 km route size.
Your answer suffers from several issues.
- You have not followed a proper structure.
- Vague language: Size, shows underground network.
- Use active voice.
- A lot of repetition of information.
Bands = 5.5 to 6.0
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