IELTS Answer Correction: Children as Good Members of Society.

A Facebook friend’s answer correction.
Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of the society. others, however, believe that the school is the place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

A child’s education has never been about learning information and basic skill only. It has always included teaching the next generation how to be a good member of the society. Therefore, this cannot be the responsibility of the parents only. What is your opinion? Is it school’d responsibility only? Or Is it the responsibility of both school and patents? Well, say it.

In order to be a good (do not repeat words) responsible member of the society, an individual must respect and obey the rules and respect (word “respect” repeated twice) others. This always begins (subject verb agreement: This = singular, use “begins”) in at the home and it is widely thought to be responsibilities responsibility (Subject noun agreement: It = singular, use “responsibility”) of the parents. They will certainly be the first to help children learn what is important in life, how they are expected to behave and what role they will play in their world.

However, learning to understand and share the value of system of a whole society cannot be achieved just in the at home. Once a child goes to school, they he are is (Subject pronoun agreement; a child = singular; use singular subject ’she/he’) going into a wider community where teachers and peers will have just as much influence as their his parent do at home. At school, chidren will experience working and living with people from the wider (Wider repeated twice. Use a new word to show breadth of your vocabulary) larger community. this experince should teach them how to co-operate with each other and how to contribute to the life of society (There’s no “life of society”, it’s just “society”).

To sum up, (a comma is necessary here) to be a valuable member of any community is not like learning simple skill, it is something that an individual goes on learning throughout life. There is an adage that says a tree does not make a forest. Therefore, it is the responsibility of every member of a society to take for helping help the younger generation to become active and able members of the society.

A few issues need to be addressed to score 7 bands in IELTS: 

1. Learn articles usage, particularly “A”. A responsible citizen, a simple skill.

2. A fre prepositions such as AT.

3. Subject-verb, subject-noun, subject-pronoun agreement seem to be an area of concern.

4. Word repetitions – avoid them using vocabulary.

5. Minor sentence structure issues.

Paragraph structure is fine. Give an example, if you can.

 With this essay, you may score between 6.0 to 6.5.

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SUBMIT MORE ANSWERS.

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2 thoughts on “IELTS Answer Correction: Children as Good Members of Society.

  1. Opinions have been divided on who bears the responsibility to train children as decent members of the society. In recent times especially, people have come with different argumentative point that it is the sole responsibility of the parents to teach their children morals on how to be good members of the society. In my opinion as will be presented in this essay, I will clearly state why it remains the responsibility of parents to grow their children morally as to suit very well in the society.
    The parents, especially the mother, are the first set of persons a child gets used to know while growing up. It is now a common knowledge that teaching morals to a kid is a responsibility that should be fulfilled once a child is birthed. So, once a child is given birth to, the first people around are the parents and nurturing starts at the cradle.
    Secondly, leaving the inculcation of morals to the hands of the school can be too cumbersome owing to the fact that schools do not give proper individual attention to kids in the school. This can be as a result of large population of kids in the school. Recently, a study was made in Nigeria to evaluate which set of kids behaves better between those trained at school and those trained at home by parents. It was found out that kids trained at home behave better in the society than kids trained in school.
    In summary, the fact still remains that for proper attention and inculcation of moral ethics, children should be trained by their parents and not left in the hands of the school.

    Please kindly review.
    Thanks

    Liked by 1 person

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