IELTS Essay Correction: Radio vs Television 3.

A correction to a friend’s answer.

(Some people believe that radio is the best way to get news while others think that Television is better for this purpose. Discuss both views, give your opinion and relevant examples.

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

In my opinion, both television and radio use electromagnetic waves to transmit the signal (Well, that’s not an opinion. That’s a FACT. However, this fact is irrelevant to the essay topic). Nowadays, radio signals moves travel faster then (than) the television one though something that people think signal is the downlink and uplink speed. (Well, this is technical, which is good. However, it is not related to the essay.)

So, I think that effectiveness in spreading the news is related to the nearby (I guess you mean “accessible”) technology with the intended people to whom the news is communicated. Rephrase: The effectiveness in disseminating (spreading) news depends on the accessibility of a technology. The availability of television in almost every home has made it a better medium to communicate news.

If every house has television, so it fulfil one requirements for someone to get knowing the news.

But, it seems that every people has their own habit in turning on television, some like to see film or movies or the others like the football or sport channel. Television gives both audio-visual, even textual experience. (Context lost. The question is on NEWS. Not on movies or sports.)

The radio on the other hand could can not fulfill the visual experience (if we do not classify smartphone as part of the radio’s group). (Let us not write in parenthesis/ brackets) Though the radio gives only audio experience, it could can reach people’s imagination to interpret the news.

Feedback: Please write a clear sentence structure. Moreover, you raise a point but never EXPLAIN it. Please go through my version HERE and look at the structure carefully. I raise ONE point in a paragraph and EXPLAIN it completely. Then, in next paragraph, I raise another point and explain that point completely.

Please feel free to ask any questions in the comments section.

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