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IELTS Essay Correction: The Internet​ vs Books for Information and Entertainment.

Checking a student’s answer.

Some people think advanced technology such as the Internet is a powerful source of information. Others, however, think that books are also a good source of information and entertainment. Give your opinion and examples.

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Here is this essay published on this website on August 1, 2017.

The internet Internet is one of the recent developments that has have (recent developments = plural; use HAVE) changed the lives of peoples. Though critics maintain that it has been of little or no value since its invention because of it has discouraged people from book reading, advocates, which I share the same opinion with, argue I believe that with its invention, information is readily accessible (Adding an adverb “readily” improves your essay’s quality. Try to use adverbs and adjectives) and covers a wider range (of what? incomplete idea.) than books do (Please note that you can’t compare apples to oranges. Compare RANGE of internet with RANGE of books). In the same vein, advocates maintain that the internet Internet has encouraged the attitude of research among scholars.

Until recently, the library has been was the only place where students and researchers go went (Until recently = past. Use past form of the verb.) to get academic information. With the internet now available, people can make use of their mobile phones or laptops to access any information at any place. There are better ways to express this idea. Rephrase: With the advent of the Internet (or World Wide Web), people use their mobile phones to access online libraries and collect the required information. (Important to mention how they collect information: ONLINE LIBRARIES.)

In developed countries, there are is high network coverage and this allows for easy accessibility of information.

Furthermore, information gotten from books is limited, unlike the internet Internet which avails one the chance of having multiple information at a time. Universities now run an e-library online libraries where students can come and hook up to the internet for a better academic experience.

Also, the thought of transporting to visiting the market and buying books discourage people in a lot of ways from reading. With the internet now available, one can easily avail himself of any information and this has increased the drive for reading and studying people.

In conclusion, the role of internet the internet in this modern world cannot be over emphasized because it brings out the best in people and makes them more informed than ever before.

Answer is well written. Please make a few changes as mentioned above. You will score well in IELTS. Good Luck!

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