IELTS Essay Correction: English More Important Than Local Languages.

English Language IELTS PTE

Checking a student’s essay.

Learning English at school is often seen more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion is it important to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages, if so how?

40 minutes, 250 words.

Here is my answer (with structure) on this topic.

Another student has attempted this answer HERE.

Please go through an 8 band response as well.

IELTS, as well as PTE, love asking questions on the English language. Here is my essay on English as Global Business Language.

In the recent years, the world has become a global village and English is the language which is the forerunner for inter-cultural conversations and worldwide business (Words “inter-cultural” and “worldwide” add value to conversations and business). Schools worldwide now focus on their students being fluent in English. Though there are a lot of positive ramifications, (Comma needed here. Correct construction is “though X, Y“) the one detrimental effect is the fading of the local languages. This essay highlights the importance of mastering English and will also provides a suitable alternative to circumvent the problem. (Parallelism: Tense before “and” and after”and” should be the same. In your case: Simple Present.)

On one hand, English is the common language people all over the world communicate in. It is also the medium lessons are imparted in prestigious institutions. You can use “Not Only, But Also” construction to connect sentences which have a common subject: English. Rephrase: English is not only the common language for communication among people of different cultures but also a preferred language in prestigious institutions.

Moreover it is the cornerstone for a high profile job, so schools focus on honing their students English competency skills to perfection. To illustrate English is taught to a toddler from the time he enters nursery while the local languages take a backseat and are introduced only when a child enters grade 6. It begets (The usage of the word BEGET is wrong.) in a child mastering the language they are exposed to when they are young. This example highlights that emphasis on English and it is obvious that it is a critical tool for survival once they enter the competitive world. (A well-written paragraph on the importance of English language.)

On the other hand, (Always prefer a comma after “on the other hand”) students are not familiar with the native languages as they (Pronoun usage) are taught at a later stage. Please note: Most people fail to properly use pronouns. They can refer to students as well as native languages. Its reference to a noun is not clear.

Rephrase: Students are not familiar with the native languages since these (these – refers to languages only. No confusion.) are taught at a later stage. 

This results in many individuals not being able to communicate fluently in their local language as they only develop skills enough to pass their examinations. So that the future generations will continue to have knowledge of what is a quintessential part of their culture parents need to devote time and stress on the importance of being bilingual. (So that ….. bilingual – an excellent sentence. However, try to write direct sentences. That is, effect follows cause. I would have preferred: Parents need to ….. bilingual so that …… culture.)

For example, I am able to comprehend my native language fluently even though I was never taught Kannada in school, as speaking the local language was compulsory at home and my parents reprimanded me every time I made a mistake.

After analyzing the above it can be concluded that In conclusion every individual should be proficient in English while the family should be pragmatic and stress on the native language and make them competent. It is always better to be multilingual, a good hold over the local languages while being extremely competent in English. (The English language loves the principle of BREVITY. That is, write fewer words. “After analyzing …. that” = 9 words; in conclusion = 2. The meaning remains unchanged. So, prefer 2 words.)

Loved going through this answer. Good language and writing style. 7 bands comfortably. However, the student needs to work hard for 8 bands in IELTS or 79 for PTE.

Please feel free to ask any questions in the comments section.

Follow this blog for more such exciting IELTS and PTE essays and like our Facebook Page. Let’s crack English language exams. You can contact us here.

Advertisements

8 thoughts on “IELTS Essay Correction: English More Important Than Local Languages.

  1. There once was a time when local languages dominated the world. Every tribe communicated in their dialects and communication was easier. With globalization, English has become a central language and many people strive to learn it so as to mingle well in the international community. While fluency in English Language prepares one for a better corporate life, it leaves local languages at risk of extinction.
    On one hand, English is the most common language in the world. Parents and teachers start at an early stage of a child’s life to him for a life within his immediate environment and this is done by teaching the child English which is the generally accepted language. In my country, though there are many tribes with different languages, English is the formal means of communication. The consequence of this is that everyone must communicate in English no matter your tribe.
    On the other hand, while English is gaining a lot of prominence, values of local languages are lost and this subjects it to a risk of fading away. It is through local languages that people who have lived major part of their lives outside their local environment find their origin.
    In conclusion, it can be seen that the importance of both English and local languages cannot be over emphasized. Having a balance of the two makes one to adapt more in the society.

    Liked by 1 person

    • There once was a time when local languages dominated the world. Every tribe communicated in their dialects and communication was easier. With globalization, English has become a central language and many people strive to learn it so as to mingle well in the international community. While fluency in English Language prepares one for a better corporate life, it leaves local languages at risk of extinction.
      On one hand, English is the most common language in the world. Parents and teachers start at an early stage of a child’s life to prepare him for a life beyond his immediate environment and this is done by teaching the child English which is the generally accepted language. In my country, though there are many tribes with different languages, English is the formal means of communication. The consequence of this is that everyone must communicate in English no matter your tribe.
      On the other hand, while English is gaining a lot of prominence, values of local languages are lost and this subjects it to a risk of fading away. It is through local languages that people who have lived major part of their lives outside their local environment find their origin.
      In conclusion, it can be seen that the importance of both English and local languages cannot be over emphasized. Having a balance of the two makes one to adapt more in the society.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you so much sir. Could you tell me how to improve if I want to get a 7.5? I will also be sending more essays , if that is not a problem.

    Like

    • Well, the only way to improve is to practice more. Write more essays, preferably after reading my essay articles under writing task 1 and writing task 2, and send your answers for checking. You must read my inputs and improve incrementally with each correction.
      However, since this is a free service and I get more than a dozen essays every day, I may not be in a position to reply the same day.

      A request: Please share articles or answer corrections from this website on Facebook. This is all I demand in return for a free essay correction service. Thank you.

      Like

  3. Pingback: IELTS Essay Correction: English More Important Than Local Languages – 2 | ELTEC English

  4. Pingback: IELTS Essay Correction: English More Important Than Local Languages – 3. | ELTEC English

  5. Pingback: IELTS Essay Task 2: English More Important Than Local Languages. | ELTEC English

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s