IELTS Essay Correction: Role of Women in Society.

Women role in society IELTS PTE.jpg

Checking a student’s answer.

Discuss the role of women in society. Has the role of women in society changed as compared to the previous generation?

IELTS: 40 minutes, 250 words at least.

PTE: 20 minutes, 200 to 300 words.

Answer:

Over the last twenty years, woman empowerment and employment has have gone through tremendous changes. Today a woman is working side by side with a man in every sphere of life whether it’s economic progression or social development (Article usage – a/an; the). New A modern woman is far more different than an old generation woman in many ways, and this change is no doubt advantageous but has some drawback too. (Article usage)

To begin with, there are good grounds to say that now no field of life is complete or successful without the contribution of females. Whether it’s technology, computer or medical field, they are serving through their skills and knowledge and giving tough time to their counter parts. Furthermore, modern woman has changed her aims and vision, is no more limited to houses like old era woman who’s whose sole purpose of life was to perform just household responsibilities.

On the flip side, this change comes with substantial drawbacks. like now mostly For example, woman thesedays are focusing on their career progressions and ignoring their duties as a mother or wife. which has surged in (See Below) This has led to serious problem problems like such as juvenile delinquency and high divorce rate separation problems. If both parents are working then it’s not possible impossible for them to provide required attention, tenderness, and guidance to their children. which (See Below) This can lead to depression, lack of morality, and weak family bonding issues among children.

NOTE: Usage of “which”. Which is a pronoun. It refers to the noun it is attached to. Which in your sentences refers to wife and children. Has wife surged in serious problems? Can children lead to depression? You don’t mean this. Better start next sentence instead of writing a misleading sentence.

To sum up, though this trend comes with has some adverse effects, but no one can deny or ignore the efforts that woman are instilling in every fields field of life. (every = singular, use FIELD.) You need to learn how to write a powerful conclusion. Please go through any of my essays under writing task 2 or PTE writing to understand the structure of conclusion

240 words.

Interested in more essays on women? Go through “Should jobs be reserved for women.

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