Checking a student’s answer.
Some people claim that workers should wear uniforms. Others allege that people should be free in their choice. Discuss both opinions, and give your own opinion.
IELTS: 40 minutes, 250 words at least.
PTE: 20 minutes, 200 to 300 words.
The discussion whether standard clothing at workplaces should be worn or not is a disputable topic. In this essay I will discuss the benefits of wearing uniforms and why it is important to provide workers with the freedom to choose their work uniform and concluding the essay writing my own opinion. (Instead of wasting words on mentioning about what this essay will contain, you should have actually introduced the essay. This is not an introduction.)
Sample Introduction: The discussion whether standard clothing at workplaces should be worn or not is a disputed topic. While some people believe that a specific dressing style promotes workplace productivity, others think that workers should have the freedom to choose their dress. (That’s it. One line to introduce the topic and then MENTION the points that you’ll EXPLAIN in the body paragraphs. Please go through another introduction HERE.)
Those who advocate a specific dressing style at workplaces ponder that a workplace dress increases workers’ overall productivity
increases. By this they mean that (The sentence makes perfect sense without this. Redundancy.) If there is no strict rule for wearing a uniform in organizations, workmates pay attention to their colleagues dress rather than work. Instead, the companies with special rules for workers’ dress are have (Wrong tense.) registered to show better (better than WHOM?) job performance not being distracted (Subject is companies. How can they be distracted?) by their coworker`s wearing. Statistically, companies with a strict dress code register better work productivity as compared to those that do not follow a dress code since workers are not distracted by their coworkers’ clothing.
the a recent survey held in Azerbaijan claim that companies requiring workers to dress according to some rules have 30 % higher productivity on average than those not applying any restrictions on the dressing of their staff. (You seem to have some issues in ARTICLE usage.)
Criticizing work uniforms, other people suggest that this approach violates the freedom of choice. This means that you cannot wear the dress or suit of your own preference. As far as supporters of this view are concerned, each worker`s main responsibility is to hold accountable for delegated functions not to follow strict and sometimes unnecessary standards of dressing. For instance, the study organized in Baku Steel Company showed that 85 % of staff would like to wear clothes of their
own option personal preference because uniforms do not let them choose other outfit suitable for their job.
In conclusion, despite growing productivity as a result of setting a proper wearing style, workplaces forget about employee freedom to choose their own dressing style.
As I think However, standards of dressing ought to be set only if their staff show readiness and willingness to accept them.
290 words. You can score 7+ in IELTS with just a few changes. Even 8 with some preparation.
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