IELTS Essay Correction: Workers Should Wear Uniforms – 3.

Workers image IELTS PTE

Checking a student’s answer.

Some people claim that workers should wear uniforms. Others allege that people should be free in their choice. Discuss both opinions, and give your own opinion.

IELTS: 40 minutes, 250 words at least.

PTE: 20 minutes, 200 to 300 words.

Answer:

Nursery and primary school students are the people widely known to wear uniforms. Recently, this policy found its way in tertiary institutions where some departments in the university ensure that college students dress formally. Now the debate for workers to wear (Articles mistake) uniform is ongoing. You’ve written fine. However, this could have been better expressed as: 

While traditionally only children in nursery and primary schools wear uniforms, this policy has now been extended to tertiary institutions such as universities as well. However, recently, a debate has begun on implementing a dress code on workers as well.

While advocates argues argue (Subject-Verb disagreement) that wearing branded clothes makes workers corporate and shows identity, critics say it exposes workers to security threats. (Excellent. You got the point. MENTION those issues in the introduction that you EXPLAIN in the body.)

Uniforms form an organization. In my recent place of work, we are advised to wear the company’s branded shirts on particular week days. Not only do we feel pride in this, but also we see it as an avenue to advertise our company to the general public (Not only, but also construction). Now throughout my neighborhood, people refer to me by the name of the company I work in for.

A research was conducted (Passive Voice) on which form of advertisement attracts customers to an organization and it was established that dressing in a company’s wear is the best form of an (Articles mistake) advert. Rephrase: A recent research about the type of advertisements that attract customers to an organization found that a picture of a proud worker wearing a company’s formal dress stands above everything else.

While the advantages are numerous, skeptics advise that workers should not be made to compulsorily (Brevity. be made to is fine. compulsorily is better.) wear uniforms because of the security risk associated with it. Recently, some workers of an oil producing company in Nigeria were attacked, and the perpetrators identified them by the uniform they wore. Critics maintain that for workers to be allowed to wear branded clothes, they must be provided with the adequate security so that their lives will are not be endangered.

To conclude, the both sides of the argument is are correct but while it is important to get maximum returns on investment through advertisement, workers should be provided with the adequate security for protection. (Well, this is fine. However, you can rephrase this in other words because you have used these exact words above as well).

To conclude, both sides of the argument have enough weight. While it is important to motivate workers and make them feel proud of the company they work for, it is equally vital to protect them from any threat. Workers are an asset for the company, and a dress code ensures that they stay loyal to their job.

262 words. Work on your conclusion.

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