IELTS/ PTE Essay Correction: Job Satisfaction.

job satisfaction IELTS PTE.jpg

(Image courtesy: Yasser Alghofily)

As most people spend a major part of their life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual well-being. What factors contribute to job satisfaction?

IELTS: 40 minutes, 250 words at least.

PTE: 20 minutes, 200 to 300 words at least.

Answer:

The adult life changes with more responsibilities and well-being. Everyone loves to acquire the amazing experience of their own lives. (I don’t think these opening lines have any link with the essay topic) I am consummate (avoid using complex words. Mostly students donot understand their usage. Merely because consummate means complete does not mean this is the correct usage) accord with the statement that, (no comma after that) job satisfaction is a prominent factor for any adult person to relish their lives.

There are some influential materials(use a COMMA before which) which contribute for to this purpose. In this context it is worth mentioning that, (no comma after that) job satisfaction is one of the top priority for any person to be happy and stay healthy.  (Conclusion is not strong enough. There are ways to improve it.)

To begin with (You’ve already begun with the introduction), the most primary (the word primary includes most) factor is about interest in that job. For instance, to elaborate my statement you can say that (redundancy. Even without these words, your sentence makes perfect sense) if a person is interested in computer and all that related items so they must get a job also in the same field. If you cannot achieve this, so it effects affects (understand the difference between AFFECT and EFFECT in this article.) your mood and communication style to different people. I strongly believe that it is no doubt an important element.

(Body Paragraph 1 needs to be improved using a better structure.)

Furthermore, area in which you are doing job or country in which you are living (??? Incomplete sentence). Some people like to do job in particular part in the world which I suggest (redundancy) give gives motivation. In addition, interaction with boss or their seniors in the industry is a positive sense. This allows a person to be satisfy satisfied and they he (a person = singular; they = plural. Wrong pronoun usage) will love to go to their his job every morning

Finally, there is another factor which play a role to some extent called salary Finally, salary is another important factor. Everyone wants to have more and more digits in their bank account storage. (IELTS and PTE demand two things: 1. Mention an issue; 2. Explain that issue. You have mentioned the salary. However, you have not explaned it.)

In the conclusion I will state that, job need satisfaction otherwise it will be difficult for anybody to continue that job. Generally, not everyone secure all types of facilities you have to compromise in some suatuition.

Okay! A lot of issues. Structural, grammatical, and style. 

Please feel free to ask any questions in the comments section.

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