IELTS Academic Correction: Scores of Three Teams – 2.

Checking a student’s answer.

The bar chart shows the scores of teams A, B, and C over four different seasons.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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20 minutes, 150 words at least.

Answer:

Here is a sample answer to this question.

Please go through another student’s essay correction as well.

The bar chart illustrates the information of the marks of total three groups which are team A, team B, team C, of four the various weatherson points scored by three teams during four years. (Please keep things SIMPLE and PLAIN. There is a FIXED structure that needs to be followed.)

Overall, Team B attained the higher highest scores as compared to others teams while Team C remained gathered least points during 2002, 2004 and 2005.

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In the case of team B, In 2002, the marks of team B were approximately 82 then in the following year, It these (subject = Marks = Plural; pronoun should be plural) gradually decreased with to 62 scores.

In the next year, a sudden fall can be seen in the scores of team B which was mere 42 (Which modifies the word it is attached to. In you sentence it modifies TEAM B. It should refer to SCOREs. Better write: … team B witnessed a sudden fall in scores to 42 in 2004.). Significantly,

By 2005, There was a steep rise in the marks of team B which was just over 55. Again a badly structured sentence.

Moving further on the another teams, Team A got only 5 marks in the year 2002. Thereafter, In marks of team A, the scores continually increased from 2002 to 2004 just 35 (wrong linking of a number to an year), but it again quickly declined. Similarly, in the scores of team C, there was a fluctuation can be seen in the four seasons.

161 words. A lot of mistakes. Structuring of sentences and paragraphs is poor. Bands = 5.5

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