IELTS Essay Correction: Send Children to Government Financed Schools.

government schools IELTS PTE.jpg

A government school: Wikimedia Commons

Families who do not send their children to government-financed school should not be required to pay taxes that support universal education. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

ANSWER:

It has often been established homes that families who do not give their children the opportunity of attending schools sponsored by the government should not necessarily pay taxes that assist global universal (Universal is different from global. Universal education refers to education for all – poor as well as rich.) education.

In my opinion, taxes should not be collected from these families (A), however, it is also important that homes perform this civic responsibility even if their young children do not attend schools totally funded by public authorities (B). The following paragraphs will examine reasons for my stand with significant examples. (Your opinion – which constitutes of A and B – is not clear. Pay taxes in B, don’t pay in A.) Introduction needs to be made stronger.You need to learn how to take a middle ground (Mix A and B properly). In your introduction they’re like OIL and WATER – both don’t mix. Make them SUGAR and WATER. 🙂

To begin with, families whose children attend a (article mistake) school that is not sponsored by the government save money by not paying government dues and rights. In most cases all over the world, privately- owned schools are more expensive than those owned and financed by the government, in . In Nigeria, especially in Lagos State, private institutions charge as much as three times more than government ones (Correct construction is More X than Y). A particular school named ”Chrisland” in Opebi Lagos charge students five hundred thousand naira nairas whereas government school in the same area collect just under two hundred thousand naira nairas.

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However, it is also essential that homes render this necessary civic responsibility irregardless regardless of the fact that their children do not attend public schools funded by the government because education is a major priority in the development of a society and nation at large. In recent decades, it has been seen that nations get much more developed when the educational sector is been has been looked into and critically funded. Countries like the USA, Japan, Germany have made good use of this avenue, which has helped to significantly develop them in terms of technology. Students become bright as they grow and help boost nation’s economy in the future. Can’t see PARENTS, TAXES, etc. Lost context. Explain the example to link it to the topic.

In conclusion, education is the best legacy. Although, it might initially be a financial burden, homes and the entire society should support the educational system by paying taxes, even if their growing children do not attend schools owned and financed by government authorities. (The conclusion says that you support only B, not A – in the introduction. Contrast.) You could have structured the conclusion better.

312 sentences. Bands = 6.0. It seems you’re so close to 7.0. Your mistakes can easily be eliminated since these are NOT grammar mistakes.

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