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Nowadays more people are choosing to live with friends or alone rather than with their families. This trend is likely to have a negative impact on communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.
40 minutes, 250 words at least.
In the 21st century, an increasing number of individuals opt to live by themselves or with friends than
living residing (live repeated twice) with their families. It has been suggested that this will have a negative effect on the society. However, I strongly disagree with this, because living alone can make an individual attain his highest level of maturity. Furthermore, cooperation trait is built when they him (an individual = singular; they = plural. Wrong pronoun usage.) live with friends, that is beneficial to the society. (71 words. Too long. Restrict it to 50.)
A: Some people contend that living alone, away from their families will negatively affect the community. They claim that this can cause the feeling of isolation that may lead to depression and worst, result in violence. For instance, a person away from his family and living alone, struggling financially and turned to robbery to fulfill his financial needs.
Hence, problems in the community will arise from this violence. (A structuring lesson: An example is the end of a POINT and a paragraph. Raise the next issue in the next paragraph and DO NOT add any new line once an example ends.)
B: Another issue is that if they live with
they their friends with no parental supervision . They may , they will (if-then construction) act with misconduct such as house party partying until late at night or even playing the radio the loudest loudly. As a result, disturbance to the neighbors will follow. With these reasons, they claimed (who claimed? Your earlier they (pronoun) refers to “people living alone”. Can’t use the same pronoun to refer to someone else.) that living alone or with friends is disadvantageous to the community.
While you favor people living with friends and alone (in the introduction), A and B present the opposite opinion. The question nowhere states “Discuss both opinions”. You’ve lost context. This will seriously impact your bands.
On the other hand, I firmly believe that choosing to live alone is beneficial not only to oneself but also to the society. Firstly, this will make a person achieve the highest level of his maturity by living independently.
A matured individual is what a society needs, maturity entails being responsible and considerate, a character significant in becoming a good citizen A society needs good citizens who are mature, responsible and considerate towards other citizens. Secondly, friends living together will flourish their sense of cooperation and camaraderie, attitudes that are an integral part of an individual as a member of the society. These traits are what the community needs for its people to live side by side harmoniously.
In conclusion, I truly believe that living with their friends or alone will greatly benefit the whole society, as it makes the individual more mature, cooperative, and built a strong sense of companionship that makes a person a good citizen to his community. (the conclusion is fine)
343 words. EXAM: Restrict yourself to no more than 300 words. Complete it in 35 minutes. Use additional 5 minutes to revise.
Ask any doubts in the comments box below.
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