IELTS Academic Task 1 Correction: Share of Internet Browsers.

The following pie charts are on the share of world-wide-web browsers used for accessing the internet. 

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Screen Shot 2017-08-05 at 8.47.11 PMScreen Shot 2017-08-05 at 8.45.44 PM

Please go through my answer as well.

The two pie charts compare the use of world wide web by the different internet browsers (Passive Voice. Try Active Voice.) in 2001 and 2010.

Overall, Web browser the web browsing was totally dominated by the Internet Explorer in 2001 but in 2010 other web browsers emerge out . However, by 2010 the picture changed drastically as other browsers gained share.  Similarly, Internet Explorer and Firefox browsers share equal proportion of profit enjoyed almost same market share in 2010. (The question nowhere mentions the word profit.)

In 2001, Internet Explorer was quiet quite popular browser so its share market was 73.6 percent followed by Firefox with just 22.3 percent. Rephrase: In 2001, the Internet Explorer, with a share of 73.6 percent, was the most popular browser followed by Firefox with just 22.3 percent share.

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Other browsers like such as Chrome, Opera, and Safari shared 1.0, 2.1, and 0.5 percent respectively.

In terms of 2010, Internet browser figures was totally changed the picture changed drastically. Firefox browser started to lead the internet browser browsing market with 37.9 percent share. Similarly, Internet Explorer‘s dominance share market dramatically decreased by half percent to 36.9 percent. About 15.5 percent of market share was taken by Chrome (passive voice). Likewise, the proportion of Opera rose twicely doubled and gained 4.2 percent whereas Safari browser share market significantly increased to 4.9 percent.

153 words. A few mistakes. Please address them to increase your score. Bands = 6.0 to 6.5.

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2 Comments

  1. Bibek Aryal

    thankyou so much sir,

    my question is : is it bad to write “in terms of 2010” or “with regard in 2010” as i wrote on report.
    Cannot we write in passive voice ?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sartaj Singh

      “in terms of” refers to “regarding something”. A year can not be “something” (something = a thing). Simply write “In 2010,…..”

      Passive voice is never recommended because of several factors: 1. It takes more words than necessary. Passive voice usually takes at least 20 percent more words to express something (statistically speaking). 2. The subject is never at the beginning of the sentence. It takes time to understand the sentence. 3. Active voice helps readers visualize the action better.

      Like

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