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IELTS Essay Correction: Workers Should Wear Uniforms – 4.

Workers image IELTS PTE

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Some people claim that workers should wear uniforms. Others allege that people should be free in their choice. Discuss both opinions, and give your own opinion.

IELTS: 40 minutes, 250 words at least.

PTE: 20 minutes, 200 to 300 words.

Answer:

Please go through my answer on the topic as well as of student 1, student 2 and student 3.

The discussion on wearing a uniform is a debatable one and each side has its logical arguments. Having a dress code in a company unify unifies the employees and enhance enhances the collaboration between them whereas being free to choose whatever you want to dress reveal reveals the social inequality and there will be discrimination based on the economic classes. (The introduction is well-written. You have mentioned the reasons supporting both views. Good job.)

On the one hand, some people may state that having a certain uniform will increase the production rate productivity as the workers feel that they are all united, (a comma before pronoun which) which paves the way towards collaborative work. For example, New York Times magazine published a survey done among the most productive companies in of the world where we it (Noun = NYT Magazine; Correct pronoun = it) found that wearing a uniform was one of the most (Word repetition in the same sentence: most.) a crucial factors that lead to the dramatic increase in the production rates.

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On the other hand, being totally free to come to your work by your choice of clothes will lead to discrimination based on social income where all the workers are not from the same status. Hatred and bigotry also will rise as they are not looking alike and that led will lead to segregation in the working atmosphere. (Tense mistake. You’ve used future tense first and later switched to past tense – led. This is wrong. Otherwise, I love this paragraph.)

In conclusion, having a uniform increases the productivity of different companies while providing no dress code leads to disastrous consequences and hatred between the members of the working (Work, worker, working repeated several times in your essay. Try using synonyms such as “professional atmosphere”.) teams. In my opinion, all companies must avoid the differences in social classes and have to unify their teams by addressing a certain uniform enforcing a dress code.

241 words. Overall this is a 7 bands answer. Need to improve in a few areas to upgrade to 8 bands. 

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