IELTS Writing Task 2 Correction: Friends Through Social Media – 1.

friends social media IELTS PTE

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Many people make friends through social sites and chat rooms. Others believe that it is not a good idea to make friends without meeting them face to face. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion and relevant examples.

IELTS: 40 minutes, 250 words at least.

PTE: 20 minutes, 200 to 300 words.

Answer:

Please go through the sample answer.

Advanced technology of social media is proliferated (Passive Voice. Use active.) in the world such as (Such as gives examples of the world, not social media. Wrong placement.) facebook, twitter, instagram, and WhatsApp. Many individuals are using these sites for exploring the world as well as making (Parallelism perfect) new friends, while opponents think it is a wrong method to make friends online because in some cases these sites would could be dangerous. (52 words. Perfect length. Good use of while construction.)

Firstly, social sites are beneficial for many people to make new friends not only in one’s own country but also from abroad. This helps in knowing a foreign culture through conversation with friends. Similarly, it helps a lot of that person who have has an introvert personality because he does not mix easily with other person people when he meets them face to face. For instance, these sites provides provide chat rooms if he does not want to talk directly such as as well as video call or voice call to avoid face-to-face conversations. He can use only messenger or chat room for conversation with a new friend. (90 words. Perfect length.)

Secondly, nowadays, by making new friends all over the world homemakers are establishing their business worldwide and it helps a lot in becoming financially strong. For example, these online sites world (or websites) provide buissness business pages for spreading buissness commerce everywhere which can help not only the businessmen but also in the national economy (Parallelism violated). (50 words.)

In contrast, some users make fake identity accounts or attractive accounts with advanced feature technology, after that they and start making new friends with wrong information identity, (repetition. You’ve written this earlier). (new sentence) then Then they blackmail to innocent people so that this is a worse method of making unknown friends (wrong usage of so that). For instance, in rare cases some terrorists make accounts, start explore students and (Parallelism violated) give offers to individuals and start mind-washing for their own purpose which would be harmful for to innocent people. Moreover, some individuals after becoming friends (this is a modifier. Place it in commas) they start harrassing harassing to next companion which is also totally disgusting thinking of some worse persons (Poor sentence structuring)(95 words.)

To conclude, making a new friend (or new friends) through online sites is not a bad idea because sometimes luckily we can make such a significant friend which who help helps us in our learning and buissness purposes. It is not harmful if we would use some features such as block the person when we feel a threat of some kind. (51 words. Perfect length. The conclusion is fine. Need to make it stronger)

Total Words = 338 words. Bands= 6.0

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