IELTS Essay Correction: Criminals Should do Unpaid Work for Community – 1.

criminals IELTS PTE

Some people say that not all criminals should be sent to prison. Instead, they should do unpaid work to help people in the community. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion and relevant examples.

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

Please read the sample answer as well.

The crime rate is increasing everywhere due to several reasons such as illiteracy, unemployment, and revenge. The government awards imprisonment to criminals after their committing offences. Nevertheless, some individuals are in favor to of offenders to carry out unpaid works, which help in the community development. I agree with this statement, these unpaid community services are too beneficial in to the productivity of the country. (This is a repetition of the previous line. Repetition.) (60 words. Length is fine.)

Firstly, the criminals who commit tiny minor offences such as thefts, rule breakers breaking, (Parallelism violated. Compare apples with apples,) they should be awarded with unpaid work in the community because it is a better alternative to them instead of only put in prison than imprisonment without work (Construction: X better than Y). Doing these free community free services such as making furniture and utensils, welding metals, and weaving things are not only help the community but also the offenders. It builds a positive attitude, experience, and skills in offender’s mind.Consequently, they become wise (responsible) citizens, which may help helps in the healthy growth of a nation. Furthermore, they understand how to work under pressure as well as live or deal with society. doing these free services (Repetition of the words above.) their laziness to carry-out any work would go away erodes (tense mistake) and maintain the intensity to work. (123 words.)

Despite, the criminals those who are too dangerous to for the community must be placed in prison with a strict environment because they do not change themselves at any cost. They commit more crimes ??? (heinous crimes) in the society. For instance, terrorists have always negative attitude (explain the negative attitude) toward some things and communities. they do not help in the productivity of any nation, in contrast, become a wall an obstacle in the growth of a country. Similarly, people feel insecure to live with dangerous offenders such as rapist, and murderers. (75 words.)

Moreover, for placing criminals in the prisons without any work take a lot of money from governments budget costs heavily to the exchequer which is used in maintaining prisons such as (wrong usage of such as) police forces salaries, and shifting convicts to and fro for several reasons. for instance, recently a rape convicted is was arrested which waste lot of money, and time while arresting time (this is NOT an example)(56 words.)

In conclusion, rehabilitation programmes are beneficial for community people (use either community or peopleand criminals. If a criminal wants a chance to reform himself, the government would gives chance an opportunity (word repetition: chance) to prove himself a good person after relieving from imprisonment. they He can start a business or work as an employee in any company, if they have he has good record in the prison life performed well during community work and participate participated in rehabilitation works. (61 words.)

Total Words = 375. Too long. 

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