IELTS Writing Task 2 Correction: Sports Lessons for Boys and Girls – 1.

Sports Lessons IELTS PTE

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Many people believe sports lessons are important in the school timetable. Both boys and girls should take part in sports. Do you agree or disagree with the statement? Give your opinion and include relevant examples from your own experience.

IELTS: 40 minutes, 250 words at least.

PTE: 20 minutes, 200 to 300 words.

Please go through the sample answer HERE.

Answer:

Undeniably, sports are beneficial in the overall development of every child. Nevertheless (wrong usage of nevertheless. “In spite of that”), several individuals think that all schools have sports periods in their schedules and both genders should take equally participate in the sports. It not only helps in the physical strength and development (Reason 1), but also cognitive development (Reason 2)(47 words. Optimum length.)

On the one hand, the students who play sports regularly, they flourish with a healthy body and better body strength. it (The reference NOUN of this pronoun is not clear) develops co-ordination with the peer group. Games also reduce stress, frustration, and laziness of bodies body. Consequently, children become more active and energetic, and give proper concentration to studies. Hence, they definately get excellent marks in both games and studies. Futhermore, playing activities builds stamina in children which helps in their working power of daily life performing daily tasks efficiently(72 words. Optimum. A few mistakes. You’re improving!)

On the other hand, it is necessary that the during participation of in games not on the discrimination of genders gender discrimination is prevented. Both genders have right to play sports such as cricket, football, and hockey. For instance, the Indian women cricket team won the world cup and proved that the cricket game is made not only for men, but also for women. It builds a sense of equality and friendship which helps in a healthy competition of betterment in both genders. It also proves wrong, negative thinking of some people who believe boys are best better than girls. (X better than Y) (83 words. Should have discussed Cognitive development – Reason 2 in this paragraph.)

In conclusion, sports help in learn learning many positive lessons of life, team spirit, and build self-confidence (Parallelism violated. many = adjective; team = noun; build = verb) which helps in the future of enables (word repetition = help) students to become honest, reliable adults, and responsible citizens. In addition, these children become brilliant players and give pride to make their parents and nation proud(47 words.)

Total words = 249. Bands = 6.5.

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