Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Computers Replacing People – 3.

computer IELTS PTE

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As the world becomes technologically advanced, computers are replacing people at more and more jobs. What are some job positions that may be lost because of computers? What are some problems that may result from this situation? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

40 minutes, 250 words at least

Please go through the sample answer HERE.

Answer:

Undoubtedly, the advanced technology makes our life more convenient than the past but it also have has the reverse effects. Several people lose their jobs (Mention more problems arising from the introduction of computers) when computers come in existence are introduced and the computers since they carry out work more effectively and efficiently than people humans. (41 words.)

To begin with (you’ve already begun) Firstly, many job positions such as telemarketers, travel agents, newspaper reporters, mail carrier, and accountants are on the verge of extinction stage. Accountants jobs are slowly replacing with computers because the computers have many advanced features Since computers have many calculations and mathematical advanced features, they are gradually replacing accounting jobs. Consequently, computers carry out written works without any extra time and effort. While in past, that work were was done on the office registers and these paper works were totally this was a time-consuming task (while construction incomplete). Nowadays, few accountants are needed for doing data entries on the computers. (repetition: You’ve already mentioned this above – they are gradually replacing accounting jobs.Furthermore, people send emails with using computers. Hence, it (wrong pronoun) they have replaced postman‘s job. In the past years the postman was only the person who delivered the people’s letters on at the a given place and this consumed colossal time. (113 words.)

On the other hand, many problems occur after computers replacing replace people in jobs. The rise in unemployment and crime rate. when computers take people jobs (repetition of the line above) that people feel frustrated after losing their jobs. Rephrase: The loss of a job often makes a person frustrated and this may eventually lead to increase in the crime rate. The employees and their families live with a lower standard of living and face financial crisis. Hence, some people start committing crimes (repetition of the idea above) for to fulfill their basic needs such as food and clothes. (62 words.)

In conclusion, the government should provide other jobs after replacing them so that they do not carry out crimes in the society impart new skills to the people who have been rendered jobless due to the introduction of automation. In the contrary, computers will not replace few jobs such as sculpting and pottery because these tasks required old age traditional human skills. Last but not least, the advanced technology of computer take the world at next advance level of success(60 words.)

(Total Words = 276 words)

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