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IELTS Essay Correction: Violence in Video Games and Television.

violence on tv and movies IELTS PTE

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Nowadays the level of violence is increasing in video games and some TV programs. What are the reasons behind this? What can be the effects and solutions?

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Please go through a similar question HERE.

Answer:

Undeniably, visual objects and scenarios put great influence on the psychology of humans. In spite, several children like watch TV programs and play video games which are full of violence, hence, both poise and these have a  negative impact such as aggressiveness on their immature mind. Parents use the different type of methods to tackle with this immense problem. Learn to connect sentences using “and”. Avoid “hence” in the introduction (52 words.)

Firstly,  since, mostly both most of the parents are working nowadays, children have lots of spare time to do indoor activities. So that they start watching watch (tense: Simple Present) some of the favorite programs in which they like full such as action movies and violence filled video games during this time. Consequently, they start imitating of imitate the heroes and trying try to perform their stunts and brutality in real life. The anger and violence automatically come in their life which blur while playing with their peer groups. For instance, children easily lose their temperament and become aggressive, hence and they injured injure (tense: Simple present) their own friends. (90 words. Read the question carefully. The question is not on “children” but on “violence on television and video games”. These are the EFFECTS.)

Secondly, parents should set limit or regulate and control what their children watch in on television and guide them that these violence is not an appropriate solution to deal with problems. and They must give proper counseling when they feel their child is showing aggressive or violent behavior in daily life. Moreover, parents should ensure that their children play outdoor games and carry out academic works in their meantime as well, so that their children become polite and calm, and show exhibit good manners while playing interacting with their peer group. (77 words. Avoid word repetitions – show, play. SOLUTION.)

In conclusion, this it is parents responsibility that they do not give advance gadgets for playing online games which is are full of violence and save their lives of the children. for example, the blue whale and Pokemon games (Do not give examples in the conclusion section) are spreading everywhere in the world which results the deaths of many young children. similarly, Governments should ban on these violence filled games globally, because, these  children are the future of the world. (68 words. Too long. You’ve violated the conclusion structure that we discussed in the class. Please follow it strictly.)

Total Words = 287 words. 

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