IELTS Task 1 Academic Correction: Recycling Aluminum Cans – 1.

The flowchart below shows the process of recycling aluminum cans. 

Write a report describing the information shown below.

Screen Shot 2017-08-29 at 11.34.16 AM

20 minutes, 150 words at least.

Please go through the sample answer HERE.

Please go through another student’s answer correction.

Answer:

The flow chart demonstrates, how the used aluminum cans are reprocessed by given procedure and this process is completed into in six (seven steps – please read carefully.) steps.

Learn how to connect information in the least number of words: The flowchart demonstrates the process of conversion of used aluminum cans to new cans in seven steps.

Overall, the garbage collectors collect gather empty aluminum cans, these canes which are (use connectors – which) processed under several processes stages such as crushing, melting, and cutting. Finally, these are ready for new packaging.
Firstly, the trash collectors gather empty cans which are accumulated at homes, schools, and parks. Secondly, it they transport the cans to scrap dealers as well as in recycling centers, where used cans are crushed and flattened into bales. Thirdly, it passes the cans are passed into crushers, where the bales are splitted split (past form of split is split) into tiny pieces. Thereafter, it moves they are moved for furnancing, heating (the process of heating in a Furnace is not furnacing, but simply heating.) where paints and coatings are removed after mild heating. (wrong usage of pronoun IT. IT can’t be used to refer to the cans.)
After that, cleared chips are put into melter machine which contains has 350 degree Celsius temperature, where chips meltdown and are cast into ingots. After melting process, it (wrong pronoun, as mentioned above) passes through sheet compressor and roller machine and hot and cold rolling to make new sheets of aluminum. Finally, aluminum cans are made by cutting and molding and the cycle continues as these new cans turn into used cans.

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