IELTS TASK 1 ACADEMIC CORRECTION: REASONS FOR STUDY AND SUPPORT FROM EMPLOYERS – 1.

The charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they receive from employeers. 

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Screen Shot 2017-11-05 at 12.46.14 PMScreen Shot 2017-11-05 at 12.48.12 PM

20 minutes, 150 words.

Please go through another student’s corrections.

Please go through similar questions mentioned below.

Survey of Adult Education.

Japanese people learning English for various reasons.

Answer:

The bar graph depicts the data about the students of different ages pursuing literacy education for their interest and career, while another chart illustrates the proportions of employers support to the students based on of various age groups. (the question nowhere states that the support is based on age groups)

On the one hand, as the age increases reason for pursuing education as for career  gradually decreases. In contrast, as the age increases purpose of literacy for interest increases. (Trends are clearly recognised but not expressed properly.) 

As the age increases fewer percentage of students pursue education for career and a greater percent study for interest.

80 percent of  students with age less than 26 studying for career advancement and only 10 percent of students pursuing education for interest. (You can avoid repetition of the subject: studentAmong students with age less than 26 years, 80 percent study for career advancement and only 10 follow a course for interest.

Similarly, students of ages 26-29 26 to 29 and 30-39 30 to 39 showed same pattern till (till shows that the trend stops at 40 to 49 age group. However, it does not in the bar chart.) become 40 percent with 49-49 age group and  also this age group learners showed an equal percentage of both reasons of pursuing literacy. (You identified the trend but failed to express it properly.) The percentage of those following education for interest keeps rising as age increases and those pursuing it for carrer keeps decreasing. They become equal at 40 percent in the age group 40 to 49 years.

The percentage of students are studying for their interest spectacularly soared and for career remarkably plummeted at above in age group 49 and above age.

On the other hand (There is no other hand. This is a separate bar chart and has no link with the previous one), Employers support to the under 26 age students is significantly higher than the other age group learners. 26-29 26 to 29 age group and more than 49 age group learners received receive (tense changed to past. Keep it simple present.) nearly 50 percent fees support from businessmen as well as while the amount of support for 30-39 and 40-49 ages learners is a little less and a little more than 35 respectively from the employers.

Ask any doubts in the comments box below.

Are you’re looking for help in writing a powerful Statement of Purpose? Contact us NOW!

Follow this blog and like our Facebook page to learn exciting new essays. You can contact me HERE.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s