IELTS Task 2 Correction: Creative Artists And Freedom Of Expression.

Artists freedom of expression IELTS PTE

Creative artists should always be given freedom to express their own ideas (in words, pictures, music, films) in whichever way they wish. There should be no governmental restrictions on what they do. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Please go through the sample answer HERE.

Answer:

Undoubtedly, artists play an indispensable role in every society and several creative artists develop useful commodities ranging from a small cart wheels to aeroplanes. (Great general statement.) While some individuals believe that artists must have total liberty for expressing their thoughts as well as ideas. However, (keep this as a single sentence. While construction demands two opinions in the same sentence.) I strongly disagree with this given (this and given are referencing words that mean the same thing.) idea since it will not only harmful to artists’ career but also will unknowingly hurt the emotions of particular community. (will {not only X but also Y})

Admittedly, artists have creative skills which they used use (tense) in several innovative arts and  enormous abilities (skills = abilities. You can’t use skills in abilities.), those that (wrong connector) have a power to change the world as well as  some inappropriate (Idea not clear. What do you mean by inappropriate thinking?concrete thinking of whole society. For instance, in past few decades, the one influential Sikh teacher known as  Shri Guru Nanak Dev ji in Sikh community abolished (link verb with the subject not object. Hope this point is clear. Discuss over phone.) the tradition  known as the sati pratha which involved (missing linking words) burning widows alive with their dead husbands (husbands were not alive, I’m sure 🙂 ). (How did Guru Nanak use CREAIVITY in ARTS to create social change? Example not linked to the essay topic.) It was all possible with their the liberal, creative, and unique thoughts of his positive mind which think only introduced equality of all humans.

Despite, However, if artists should offer are offered total freedom, they will write and design some art such as book, painting, and sculpture which is against traditional values of certain society. (Wrong implementation of If…, then clause) This will ultimately lead deterioration of communal harmony of specific community with their protests against that art. Furthermore, this will eventually takes take the artist toward (missed a word?) where they will lose their jobs along with future careers. Consequently, recently a artist lose their his career because he made cartoons of leaders of the society and government take action put him into prison for some days. (This is devoid of all standards of an example.) (Several mistakes in Subject-Pronoun disagreement.)

In conclusion, the government should allow only certain amount of freedom so that artists do not cross their limits and harm religions of the society. This is not only responsibility of governments to legislate rules over them but also artists’ responsibility to not hurt any society community (word repetition: society), since they are also responsible citizens of that society.

Total Words = 298. Bands = 6.0

Please feel free to ask any questions in the comments section.

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