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IELTS Task 2, Correction: Most Important Things in Life.

most important things IELTS PTE

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Some people think most important things in life are free and cannot be bought. To what extent do you agree?

40 minutes, 250 words only.

Please go through the sample answer HERE.

Answer:

Plethora Several humans consider numerous things in life are free of cost and cannot get be purchased with  money. I strongly believe that these priceless things are  happiness, health and good relationships  not only are indispensable but free but also are available in life to myriad people. Since these things are not based on money. (Correct usage: “A plathora of something”. Something is uncountable. Since humans are countable, the usage is wrong here.) Idiom: “Not only X but also Y“. Not only ARE ….. but also ARE …… (discuss with me.)

Firstly, happiness, it is one’s state of mind that comes with healthy mind. Since it no does not need  money to buy it in life. (You made a good attempt at creating senteces. Now join them using a connector “WHICH”. Firstly, happiness, which is a state of mind (a modifier), cannot be purchased with money.)

It can get (this means happiness can get something, not humans) A person can get it (happiness) only through sound thoughts and pure love by relatives  and friends. It can be found being loved and being secured (This sentence does not convey your thoughts clearly.).

Moreover, it is more precious than costly things such as a car, bigger house and so on. For instance, despite a lot of money, cream class does the rich do not have this blessing in their life. Since since (connect the two sentences. SINCE is a beautiful connector that connects cause and effect.) they don’t trust what they have, and always they search more money than they have, hence (Start a new sentence with HENCE) Hence, this quest snatch their peace of mind.

Secondly, health is as more important as the as important as happiness in one’s life. No doubt that undoubtedly, it take  a lot of efforts to attain in life, for example such as for good health investment of healthy diet and  lifestyle such as workout. Rephrase: Discuss with me: Undoubtedly, it takes tremendous efforts such as a healthy diet and daily physical exercise to maintain a fit body.

Instead of all Without these struggles, one can not get for longer period of time in his/her life. A health is a state of completely complete physical, social and emotional well being. For gaining these things, money fail to help. Rephrase: Health is a state of complete physical, social and emotional well-being which cannot be purchased with money.

These are priceless that no richer (???) can  be found in life. Furthermore, Similarly, true love and relationships are the same things in life that are out of range for those who do not are careless care and do not give respect to these valuables in their life. Wealthy people are best examples for these things, they only focus on money  rather than relationships. Money oriented people, as a result, spend miserable life. (Your paragraphs are devoid of any examples. Try writing at least one. Let me present an example: A recent survey by Time magazine revealed that the divorce rate among rich is 200 percent higher than the divorce rate among poor since rich value everything in terms of money.

In conclusion, I think health happiness and trustworthy relations are keys to life. Life goes  without these things, but don’t brings real peace in deprived people’s life. Care only is  important to have these free things in life.

Need a lot of improvements.

Total Words = 333

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1 reply »

  1. PTE

    Although such topics, in all likelihood, never will yield a consensual agreement, a constructive dialogue on the secrets of a happy life can lead to thought-provoking discussions. My view is that irrespective of the numerous disputes arise on either side, the secrets of a happy life are found around us, we do not need to buy it.

    On the one hand, there are some people who shed light on the fact that money could buy happiness. Such people may argue that, if you have money you can live a luxury life, earn what do you want and gain power. For instance, money gives power and happiness but not the full happiness.

    However, in spite of there arguments, I believe that the happiness of life lies in the free sources around us which do not need money to buy it. Firstly, money can not fully protect us from diseases but if we drink and eat healthy food and exercise well we could protect our selves from diseases. For example, Cancer is incurable disease even if you have tons of money. Secondly, enjoy your life with your family and friends are very precious secrets for could not be bought by money. Lastly, in a nutshell, life is so easy to live, do not bother your self by thinking.

    I see that there is potential evidence to fortify the contention I have provided. Thus, I am inclined to come to the conclusion that secrets of life does not need money to live , keep your body healthy and enlarge your social circles are the most important secrets for a happy life.

    Like

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