IELTS Essay Correction: Modern Modes of Transport.

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Now-a-days, modern modes of transport are available; still some people believe a bicycle is the best way to get from one place to another. Do you agree or disagree.

Please go through the sample answer as well.

Answer:

In this modernization modern era (Note: Quality of era (noun) is that it is modern (adjective). Modernization, on the other hand, is a noun.) people have various (Collocation) modes of travelling to get from one place to another. I partly agree with the above statement since today nobody has time, everyone wants to reach everywhere as soon as possible and modern mode of travelling helps in this. However, bicycle not only remains fit keeps human body fit but also saves environment from pollution.

Now-a-days, nobody has much time and everyone is in a hurry due to heavy workload and wants to complete work on time. In this, today’s transportation plays a pivotal role since it is very fast and capable to cover long distance in less time that is today’s requirement. For example, a businessman has two meetings on the same day in different cities and that is possible only through good convenient (Lexical Resources) and fast transportation. He can attend both meetings with the help of by travelling through airplanes an airplane since it (it = singular, airplanes = plural) covers long distance in less time. With this he saves time his time and completes his work on the time that is possible only with modern modes of transportation.

However, some people prefer bicycle to get from one place to another since it protects environment and remains fit human body. (Rephrase: since it does not pollute the environment and keeps human body fit through physical exercise.) Using bicycle is good for health and it is pollution free but there are some limitations with it however, it suffers from certain limitations such as it is not very fast and it cannot cover long distance. For example; a man can cover short distance with it but if he has to go another city that time it is not beneficial. Please note: The corrections I’ve made in this paragraph are meant to improve your sentences using better choice of words. Please discuss any dounts over phone.

In conclusion, now-a-days, fast (word repetition: fast) modern means of transportation is are a basic need for everyone since it is they are fast and cheap also (please do not use and with also.) However, people can use bicycle for short distance that helps body to keep fit and beneficial for environment.

Total Words = 274. Bands = 6.5. Need to make certain improvements in grammar and lexical resources to reach 7.0. Task response is good and cohesion is fine. Scope for improvement in cohesion as well. 

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