20 minutes, 150 words only.
The pie chart illustrates the four major causes of land deterioration in the world and the table demonstrates the total percentage of
less productive land degradation (Don’t shy from using the words given in the question.) which was due to deforestation, over grazing, and over cultivation in the three countries in 1990. (Lexical Resources problem: less productive is not same as land degradation.)
Overall, most of the land became less fertile due to over grazing and the total land degradation was
significantly high the highest in the Europe. (Do not use article the with names of countries and continents.)
Evidently, 35 percent of the land
deteriorated deterioration was due to over-grazing (over and grazing are not separate words) in worldwide and both deforestation and over-cultivation (over and cultivation are not separate words.) causes of land derioration had the marginal difference in between them, 30 percent and 28 percent respectively while the least percentage of the land degraded due to other reasons.
IELTS wants you to state trends and not ALL the numbers. You can compromise on data, but not on trends. Rephrase: Most of the land degradation in the world was due to over-grazing followed by deforestation and over-cultivation. The proportion of other reasons was relatively insignificant.
On the other hand, in
the Europe 23 percent of the total soil deteriorated in which 9.8 percent was due to excessive cutting of trees which was followed by over cultivation and over grazing 7.7 and 5.5 respectively (EITHER state the numbers by linking them with the sentence OR avoid writing them.). In Oceania, the major cause of less soil productive was over grazing by animals and other reason was deforestation, due to this cause land less deteriorated (repetition – you’ve stated this earlier as well.) in Oceania. On the contrary, in this country land was not degraded by over cultivation over-cultivation did not contribute to land deterioration in this region. While In North America, all these reasons had the considerably least lower (either write “considerably lower” or “the lowest”.) percentage in total land degradation.
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