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IELTS Essay Correction: International Marketing Seen As Invasive and Intrusive.

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International marketing is sometimes seen as invasive and an intrusive into the country in question. Others argue that it is a necessary and economical form of education in addition to spreading ideas, language and culture. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

Globalisation is progressively taking over the major trends of the world. While there are major several (word repetition: major. Don’t repeat words in the same stem – a sentence or a paragraph.) advantages of the global market like such as exchange of ideas, language and culture, there are also few disadvantages, like such as it can act as an intruder on some occasions (do not write a complete sentence with such as.privacy intrusion. This essay will discuss why and how the advantages of a globalised nation outweigh the disadvantages(Of course it will. No need to write this sentence.)

Such as VS Like. Such as is used to give examples. Like is used to give similarities. Write such as next to the word it exemplifies. In your sentence write it next to advantages. Replrase: While the global market has several advantages such as ……….

Please note: You can use Ranging from X to Y in place of such as.

There are several advantages of international marketing. The most significant one is it increases educational opportunities for students. Global marketing gives the a student a wide variety of options to choose from the renowned universities of the world (You’ve lost the track here. The question is on international marketing as a cultural, linguistic force. For instance, Coke, Levis, and other international brands invade your privacy with American culture. Lost context here. Task Response score will suffer.). She/he can plan to study abroad and gain credentials in a field, which their own country might not offer. For example, a large percentage of international students prefer modern western education and struggle in western countries like such as the US and Australia, to study courses which are not offered in their home country and to have a standard education with hands-on experience in the same field.

In addition, this also promotes multicultural exchange of ideas and languages. (If you raise an issue, explain it in detail. Do not leave it unexplained.)

prefer and struggle must fit with in western countries. While the latter does, the former does not. Verb must fit object perfectly.

Despite these advantages, there are still a few disadvantages which are important to consider. It can so happen that international marketing can act as invasive and intrusion intrusive (Violates parallelism. While invasive is an adjective, intrusion is a noun. Read parallelism artical HERE.) in a particular country. People might may not like imports and exports from other countries because this might they tend to (word repetition: might) reduce the cost price of prices in local markets which can be result in a loss for the local vendors manufaturers. Moreover, the native language and culture might get are affected due to global interactions, which can results in loss of authenticity. (Do not leave this unexplained. Please give an example here.)

In conclusion, the advantages of globalisation are too great to ignore and thus, International marketing will eventually overtake the world. (This is too short. A conclusion should ideally be 40 words long. Let me rewrite your conclusion: In conclusion, despite several disadvantages and opposition to international brands and marketing campaigns, their onslaught on a global scale is an unstoppable force. These changes should be embraced and accepted.)

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