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IELTS Essay Correction: One Big Traffic Jam.

traffic jams IELTS PTE

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Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now ‘One big traffic jam’. How true do you think the statement is? What measures can the government take to discourage people from using the cars?

40 minutes, 250 words.

Transportation is a frequently asked topic in the IELTS exam. Here are a few related topics.

  1. Own cars to commute.
  2. Traffic jams and congestion.
  3. Modern modes of transport.

Answer:

Many people believe that the number of people who own a car has increased rapidly over the past three decades and this (parallelism violation. Discuss with me.) is causing a range of problems, particularly in build up areas. I think this is true and there are a number of ways that the government can implement to deal with this issue. (Instead of writing this sentence, MENTION the reasons. …. is causing a number of problems ranging from X and Y to A and B.)

Many big cities in the world have traffic problems and these problems vary. In some cities, traffic is congested traffic congestion occurs at all times while some others face this problem only at peak time especially in the morning and evening. Most of the working class people have their personal vehicle and they prefer that for daily commuting. Moreover, motor companies are providing provide (use simple present tense) heavy (collocation) subsidies, easy (collocation) loan facilities and even launching regularly (collocation) launch (use simple present tense) new models which are more affordable. All this lure common people and they end up buying a new vehicle. For example, in recent year TATA Motors revealed that after launching affordable Nano cars, which cost about only one lakh, coupled with attrative finance options their the company’s sales increased by 38%. (Their ca’t be used to refer to a company)

Governments can undertake some (overuse of the word somecertain measures to dissuade the increasing traffic congestion. First and foremost, they can impose a hefty tax on the manufactures which would, in turn, raise the price of the vehicle and lowers lower its sale. Secondly, they can encourage the people to use public transport and can run campaigns to educate and provide awareness about the adverse ramification of increasing use of motor cars. Most of the times car trips involve short journeys such as travel to a nearby supermarket or school (a supermarket or a school are not examples of short journey.) and some of them are unnecessary, but however we automatically use cars without thinking. So Consequently, if the government provides transport facilities which are cheap and reliable, people will use them, as buses, trams, and trains are good (avoid using the word good in the IELTS exam since it lacks a concrete meaning) cost effective ways of traveling. Moreover, the public can be encouraged to use other modes of commuting such as cycling and walking.

Another approach is to discourage people from entering the city by building car parks and shopping centers in remote areas. This will reduce the people entering the city and can reduce the flow of vehicles to the cities. For example, in a survey done by Delhi Trafic Control authority revealed that when BJP government launched carpooling (The example does not match with the statement made earlier.) in 2016, the traffic in Delhi reduced by 25% percent.

Let me rephrase to match the statement and example: Another efficient approach is to formulate laws promoting carpooling within a city. For instance, the traffic ministry of Delhi government launched a program which offered cash incentives to people who deliberately avoided driving cars for daily commute and preffered carpooling instead. This reportedly reduced Delhi’s traffic by 23 percent in a single day. (Note: A single statement followed by an example explined with enough data and facts in two sentences.)

To conclude, we all have responsibilities to look after our cities. Citizens along with government can do a lot to improve this condition and can bring down the increasing number of vehicles which will protect our environment from a great danger. (the question is on traffic jams, not environment. You can use environment, but not at the cost of traffic jams.) 

Citizens, along with governments, must take conceted steps to curtail the use of private vahicles so that the economic cost of transportation is reduced and our cities become environmentally sustainable by reducing the traffic jams.

Total Words = 402.

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