Answer Checking

IELTS Task 1 Correction: Regular Physical Activity in Australia.

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Answer:

The bar graph illustrates the proportions proportion/percentage of men and women who performed regular physical activities in Australia during 2010. The figures are depicted by categorising them into six separate age bands starting from the age of 15 without any upper limit and units are measured in percentagesAn introduction in Task 1 is usually ONE sentence long and this sentence must contain eveything you’ve written above. All facts must be concisely placed since the word limit is only 150.

The given bar graph depicts the percentage of Australian males and females of different age groups performing physical activities during 2010.

Overall, it can be seen clearly that the percentages are all greater in women (the percentages are not IN women. Falwed logic. Place the adjective – greater – before the noun – percentage.) than men amongst all the groups with the exception of the 15 to 24 age band, which is slightly higher in males.

Note the trend: Men>Women (percentage). Note the exception 15 to 24: Women>Men (percentage). Overall, it can be clearly seen that except the age group 15 to 24, a greater percentage of men were physically active than women.

While the highest level of regular activity was observed in women in the 45-54 45 to 54 age group, men in 35-44 35 to 44 age band experienced the smallest rate lowest percentage amongst the groups.

The discrepancy between both sexes (the difference is in physical activities, not sexes.) was mostly obvious (this is not a trend.) in the age group starting from mid-thirties and ending in mid-forties; reported as 52.5% percentage and 39.5% perentage in women and men, respectively.

The difference in physical activity of both sexes was the highest (TREND) in the 35 to 44 age group in which 52.5 percent women and 39.5 percent men engaged in activities. This (referencing) gap gradually shrank as the age increased (TREND) and fell down to just 0.4 percent for the age group 65 and above.

Although the difference between both genders was also significantly evident in the age group of 25 to 64 (there is no such age group. You’ll lose bands in task response.), the measures came to an almost similar rate at approximately 47% percent in the elderly group of age 65 and over.

Total Words = 178. Bands = 6.0. Need a few improvements as mentioned below.

  1. Write a clear and concise introduction. Make sure the opening sentence contains all the information.
  2. Do not use mathematical symbols such as %, 35-44. Write proper English.
  3. Identify the trends before writing. Brainstorn for about five minutes before writing.
  4. Write down the trends CLEARLY with adjectives – highest, lowest, gradually, marginally, rapidly, etc.
  5. Read the data carefully, do not change it under any circumstances. For instance, age groups.

Ask any doubts in the comments box below.

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1 reply »

  1. The bar chart illustrates the rate of physically active men and women in six different age groups in Australia during 2010.

    Overall, the most notable feature was the higher proportion of active females than males in the all age groups except the youngest group. The women aged 45 to 54 were the most active while men in the 35-44 age bracket were the least engaged in physical activities. There was no significant difference in the eldest group.

    Regarding the youngest group(15-24), it was the only age group where males outnumbered females. In 2010, for men, the 15-24 age group had the highest activity rate, whereas, for women, the 45-54 age group had the highest standard, with 52.8 percent, and 53.3 percent respectively.

    The difference in physical activity of both sexes was the highest in the 35 to 44 age group in which 52.5 percent women and 39.5 percent of men engaged in activities. This gap gradually shrank as the age increased and fell to just 0.4 percent for the age group 65 and above. It was also the lowest point of females participation in physical activities.

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