Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Capital Punishment.

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Without Capital punishment (the death penalty) our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment is essential to control violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

40 minutes, 250 words only.

Crime is a frequently asked topic in IELTS and PTE exams. Please go through the followed topic as well.

Crime has increased all over the world.

Answer:

The absence of death penalty in law triggers social transgression to any extreme limits raising serious questions about life safety of people (safety of life/ safety of people). I strongly agree with the this statement because the fear of death can suppress prevent a criminal mind to a level which is too low to commit from serious offences serious offences (an important word that can be used here is: DETERRENT). Moreover, a few anti-social individuals, who indulge in mass destruction, should be punished strictly to show State control over people. (This is more of a solution to a problem than a reason supporting your opinion.)

If I were you, I would have written the first sentence of introduction on VIOLENCE and CRIME. Then write the next sentence linking CAPITAL PUNISHMENT with the first sentence: The latter half of 20th century and the first part 21st century has witnessed a phenomenal increase in violence and terrorist activity. I strongly believe that many of these heinous crimes can be prevented by imposing the law of capital punishment since it not only provides a strong deterrent against any criminal offence but also eliminates the masterminds thereby preventing them from further crimes. (65 words. Now explain each reason in a separate paragraph.)

Scientific studies prove that a criminal’s psychology always responds positively to negative reinforcement (This sentence uses nice, weighty words with little meaning. Discuss with me. Scientific studies have proved that strong punishment often acts as a strong deterrent against any crime.). This is due to the fact that though criminal minds are too rigid to understand logical negotiations(Correct construction: Though X, Y. Can’t write yet with though construction.) yet they can be limited by strict punishing measures. For example, according to a report in The British News in 1977, the number of yearly murders murders in Scotland dropped from thirty-five thousand to two thousand in just one year after the introduction of death penalty law by the Scottish government.

Moreover, (Need connection between one paragraph and another) there is an international consensus about that any individual or group of individuals involved in mass destruction should be punished with death. Terrorists and rebellions, who not only threaten life at a very large scale but also challenge any state’s writ, come under this category. For instance, according to Pakistani News polls in 2014, a dramatic fall of thirty percent in terroristic activities by thirty percent is was observed secondary to after Army operations against rebellions in North Waziristan

In conclusion, capital punishment, which is an integral part of security law, ensures not only social security but also restricts condemnable serious offences. This is the only way to control law and order situation against the violent anti-social behaviour. (Excellent Conclusion. Well done.)

Total Words = 248. Please write at least 250. Bands = 6.5.

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