Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Characteristics we’re Born with – Personality.

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Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence?

40 minutes, 250 words only.

Please go through a similar topic: Personality shaped by experience.

Answer:

Human psychology is the most debatable issue now a days nowadays. There are A lot of research work is going on to in this topic. (Combine the two sentences. They’re too simple for the IELTS exam. Ler me help you: Human psychology is the most debatable issue these days and a lot of research is being conducted in this sphere/ area.) Few r Recent research has stated that the innate characteristics with which a person born has have a greater impact on their (no need of a pronoun here. Moreover, a person = singular, their = plural.) personality and development. I am partially agree with this statement. Lets discuss my view in this essay. (Of course you will discuss your view in the essay. No need to write this. Instead, give reasons in support of your answer. I partly agree with this statement since ……… and ……….) Please complete this sentence and share with me.

Firstly, a person born with certain characterstics which inherited through his biological parents Every person is born with certain inherited characteristics. For instance, in case of identical twins, they not only look similar but sometimes they behave in a the same way (in a similar way) and this behavior stay with him them (twins = plural, him = singular.) throughout the life. Although this is because of their chromosomal traits, which I think is the most influential factor in their life (this is a modifier. Incomplete Although X, Y construction. Discuss with me.). But they merely affect their personal life.

You have a number of Subject-Verb and Subject-pronoun issues.

The environment also plays a pivotal role in the behavior of a person. Most since most of the people acquire some characteristics by observing their surroundings (please note that you can convert simple sentences to complex by adding connectors such as since and and.). For example when a young child starts to play cricket, he does not know what he can do better either bowling and batting is not aware of his strengths and weaknesses, but as the time passes he acquired acquires some special instinct with which he become is able to identify their his (wrong pronoun) real talent, after that he shares his skills and pursue their goals. Eventually, through this type of approach, he changes his psychology or behavior, which ultimately changes their his life completely.

It is concluded that In conclusion, both innate and acquired characteristics has have a deep impact on a person’s social life and behavior, Oxfordd comma) and saying that to saying one most is more influential is not justify justified. Many unknown facts about human psychology will also reveal soon (This sentence makes no sense).

Bands = 6.0. A lot of areas to work upon. Please discuss with me in greater detail.

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