IELTS Essay Correction: Characteristics We’re Born With – Personality.

personality

Image Courtesy: Flickr

Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development then any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence?

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

Scientific study shows studies show (A scientific study shows) that the personality and development of an individual are more dependent on the characteristics he is born with, rather than the experiences of life. In my opinion, although genetics play a major role in an individual’s life, but (Right construction: Although X, Y) his experiences make him aware of the innate skills.

An individual’s personality plays a major role in his social and communicative communication (name of the skill is communication. It is not the quality of a skill.) skills, and these skills are responsible for important developments in life. Human beings are born with a set of characteristics that continues to show striking features in his their later life. These range from being an extrovert, and introvert, to shy or a and reserved person (correct construction: from X and Y to A and B). If a person is an extrovert, he is so because of his genetics and not because of the experiences he faced in his life. For example, in 2008, a research lab in Bangalore has proven proved (2008 = past) that 85 percent of the major characteristics of a human being are possessed through heredity or genetics. (A well written paragraph with correct task response, cohesion and vocabulary. A few grammar issues. Example is well-constructed.)

In spite of these (these what?), However, (/ Although genetics are important, …..) experiences are natural in making an individual aware of his innate skills. An introvert person does not realise that he is an introvert unless he is in a huge social gathering and an adventurous person does not realise his fondness to adventures unless he gets his first a chance of performing one. In addition to this, experiences also help a person moderate his characteristics according to the circumstances. For example, a psychology study has found that an introvert or a shy person tries to be more confident and open in a business meeting, (no comma here) after experiencing failures for a few times. (Bravo!)

In conclusion, although genetics play an important role in the type of personality one possesses, experience is the teacher who makes him the person aware of it and teaches him how to moderate it accordingly.

Bands = 7.0. 

Follow this blog for more such exciting IELTS and PTE essays and like our Facebook Page. Let’s crack English language exams. You can contact us here.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s