Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: University Students Have Too Much Freedom.

university students IELTS.jpg

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University students have too much freedom and don’t study enough nowadays. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Explain your opinion, giving specific examples and reason.

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

University education is a frequently asked essay topic in the IELTS and PTE exams. Here are some related useful topics.

Main functions of a university

University education cost by individuals

University education vs experience

Everybody allowed admission to college or university.

University students education

University education brings benefits or unemployment

Answer:

People consider tertiary education as an important milestone in every students’ student’s (every = singular; students’ = plural) career, as such there are some people and (Parallelism using and. “People consider (verb) ….. and argue (verb) …….” Please read the Rules of Parallelism.) argue that leave the students leaving a student unrestrained can lead to a poor academic score. However, I disagree with the above opinion and in this essay explains about the  other factor which effect the students learning (of course the essay will explain, please use this space to mention the reasons supporting your opinion.)I disagree with this opinion since …………..

You’ve missed the question’s essence. It is not “advantages and disadvantages of freedom to university students.” It is about “university students enjoy freedom and don’t study VS they’re not free and study.” Discuss with me.

There are Many academicians in the society believes believe (subject-verb disagreement) that discretion of students’ has a negative influence on their academic performance. More specifically, according to them, university students who have are provided with liberal classroom learning, (no comma here) tend to be deviate from studies and skip the lectures regularly. Consequently, these students are not able unable to achieve the expected academic scores and lag behind in their career. This opinion is somewhat agreed (‘poor academic scores’ can’t agree or disagree) by the poor academic scores of students who missed their lectures, unlike the regular students. It is, therefore, agreed by some teachers that more freedom always leads to less performance by the students. (You’ve wasted precious space and time writing an opinion you do not support. The question is in your opinion – agree or disagree. Explain it, not the other person’s opinion.)

However, I disagree with the above opinion because in my opinion, (Word repetition: opinion. Brevity.) since freedom and self-motivation of aspirants enhances the positive atmosphere of learning. In other words, students who has have a strong desire for learning will definitely score high in his their exams results and no matter the level of freedom that given to him (makes little sense.). Moreover, the unrestricted teaching atmosphere improves pupils’ critical thinking and relieves the pressure on of their studies. For an instance, a recent survey conducted among the post graduate post-graduate students in Sichuan University in 2015, showed that the academic performance was higher among the post graduates those who had self-determination and discretion. It is therefore believed The survey concluded that students learning capacity depends (subject-verb disagreement) on their willingness to study.

To conclude, third level university education plays has paramount importance. Even though some opine that freedom has an adverse effect on studying, in my opinion, this argument is flawed when we look at the high performance of other students provided with freedom. (this is same as the introduction. Not a conclusion. A conclusion may be a paraphrasing of introduction, however, it must look different.)

In conclusion, university students are busier than ever before since they not only study the usual university lectures but also focus on practical professional experience during studies. Spending lesser time on a university campus may create a perception that freedom is detrimental to studies. However, it perfectly aligns with the modern world in which university education is not enough to prepare students for the job market.

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