Answer Checking

IELTS Academic Task 1 Correction: Energy Consumption in The USA.

The graph below shows information from a 2008 report about consumption of energy in the United States of America since 1980 with projections till 2030.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Screen Shot 2017-10-11 at 4.13.19 PM

20 minutes, 150 words at least.

Please go through the sample essay as well.

Answer:

The line graph compares the amount of energy utilization in quadrillion (q) units in the United States starting from 1980 and projecting till 2030 with predictions in six different different fuel types. Units are given in quadrillion (q) units. (well-written!)

Prefer writing the complete word quadrillion.

Overall, fossil fuels such as petrol and oil have been the dominant genre fuel (genre is not a synonym of fuel. Not even close.) and this tendency trend (tendency is more related to humans – living organisms. Numbers have trends.) will continue in the future. In contrast, nuclear, solar/wind and water were have been less favorable fuels consumed sources of energy since 1980 and will continue to be less preferred until 2030 by the American people. (please note the tone of the data: Energy consumption by fuel = The Americans consume the energy produced by these fuels. These fuels are used to produce energy. Write this.)

(Prefer Present Perfect Continuous.)

Clearly, petrol and oil commenced (non-living things can’t commence) at 35 q units in 1980, rising (what is the nature of rising?) to approximately 40 q in 2008 and this trend will continue with a projected value of nearly 50 q in 2030.

Clearly, petrol and oil contributed 35 quadrillion units in 1980 and, despite fluctuations, increased gradually to about 40 quadrillion units in 2008. They are expected to consistently increase in the future and contribute approximately 50 quadrillion units by 2030. 

In 1980, natural gas and coal ranked in second and third, with around 16 q units and 20 q units respectively. However, coal went ahead over (surpassed) natural gas in 1990 and it is predicted that, with just over 30 quadrillion units, it will be the second most consumed fuel in 2030 with a level of just over 30 q (Who is producing 30 q? 2030 or coal? Please link the numbers with coal using a MODIFIER. A modifier is a clause, usually incomplete, that informs us about a NOUN/ pronoun. For instance: Kemal Ataturk, who was the founder of modern Turkey (a modifier between two commas to give additional information about a noun), was an excellent administrator.). In addition, it is also expected that the natural gas will level off and remain relatively constant at about 25 q.

Nuclear and renewable energies represented at around 4 q in 1980 and, despite some fluctuations (a modifier linked to noun through AND), increased marginally till just over 5 q in 2008 despite some fluctuations. It can be seen that the nuclear energy will reach a point of slightly under 10 q by 2030 and solar/wind around 5 q, with hydropower dropping minimally slightly and remaining stable at approximately 2 q.

Total Words = 240. Too long. Do not waste time in writing more than 160 words in task 1. Moreover, you’re over-exposing yourself.

Bands = 6.5. Well written. Learn the usage of modifiers to link NUMBERS with their owners. A few vocabulary issues primarily due to your effort to write a synonym. Please write perfect synonyms.

Discuss modifiers with me.

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