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IELTS Essay Correction: Social Media VS Personal Communication – 1.

friends social media IELTS PTE

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Now-a-days the use of social media such as Facebook, Twitter and so on is becoming more popular than one on one conversation in person. Do you think the advantage of this development outweigh the disadvantage? Give your opinion and examples from your own experience.

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Please go through the SAMPLE ANSWER.

Answer:

These days the trend of public interaction through social media is becoming more famous (OR is gaining traction) as compared to face to face gatherings. In my opinion, the principal advantage of staying in contact with a community cannot outweigh the disadvantage of a waste of time due to overuse of Facebook, Twitter etc. (the advantages and disadvantages should be of the statement. Can’t compare advantages of one-on-one conversation with disadvantages of social media.)

Social media, which is a source of personal as well as public contracts, is a quick and an easily accessible (collocation) way of communication. This is due to the fact since (due to = since) that on one hand it provides plenty of options such as …….. for personal interaction such as text messages, audio calls and video calls etc (avoid using etc.), while on the other hand (do not use while and on the other hand together) by updating it updates (parallelism. Can you guess why?) people about national and international affairs, . Social media serves as a news reporting medium. For example, according to a BBC poll held in 2014, about eighty percent of people voted for Facebook as their favorite means of communication and news medium (medium = means)(as their most preferred means of communicating with friends and reading local news. Maintain parallelism)

One The major concern about the use of social media is waste of youth‘s time due to its overuse. This is because of reason that (because is used to express reason. no need to write them together.) most people indulge in activities like ranging from arguing on political groups, and talking to strangers, to reviewing different rumours etc, which in turn cost a lot of time (If you think you’ve used such as earlier, try ranging from X to Y.). For instance, according to an interesting study held at Oxford University in 2013, about five thousand students were spending an average of seven hours a day on Facebook without any reasonable grounds. (the paragraph is well structured and explained.)

In conclusion, there is no doubt about the significant role of social media, which is to serve as means of communication, in today’s life but it’s its (it’s = it is. its = pronoun.) over-usage overuse is raising serious questions (a serious question) regarding the value of time, that is very extremely essential to achieve one’s goals.

Bands = 6.5. Lexical resource and grammar issues need to be addressed.

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