20 minutes, 150 words only.
Please go through the SAMPLE ANSWER.
The bar chart, categorised into three different groups, illustrates the total count of minutes of phone calls
, (no comma here) which took place in the United Kingdom between 1995 and 2002 annually. Units are shown in billions minutes.
it can clearly be seen that clearly (brevity. use one word in place of six) local-fixed line was the most commonly used type of phone call throughout the time (time = period) given period. Although, the duration of phone calls made via international and national fixed lines showed a gradual rise and ranked as second among others, the most significant increase was witnessed in mobile calls, which was the least preferred in this time interval. (Although is used to show contrast within the same subject. You’ve changed the subject. Although I studied hard for the IELTS exam, I scored 7 bands only. Subject = I.)
In 1995, the duration of phone calls made by local lines was just over 70 billions minutes. Following a gradual increase up to 90 billions in 1999, local calls’ duration
gradually consistently (word repetition: gradual) decreased to slightly over 70 billions in 2002.
In contrast, the time length of national and international calls were just over 40 billions minutes in 1995
, then and it showed a gradual regular (word repetition: gradual) rise to slightly over 60 billions in 2002. Likewise, mobile calls started at around 2 billions minutes in 1995 and demonstrated the most a significant rise to a peak level of nearly 45 billions in 2002, which was just only the about half of the peak level of the local lines calls occurred during 1999.
A few grammar and lexical resource issues need to be addressed. Learn the appropriate use of constructions such as although. These are preventing you from scoring 7.0 bands.
Bands = 6.5.