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IELTS Essay Correction: Cooking At Home VS Fast Food – 1.

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Some people believe that cooking at home is a waste of time. They feel it is better to buy fast food which is more convenient and less stressful in modern life. Do you agree or disagree ? Give your opinion and examples from your own experience?

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Please go through the SAMPLE ANSWER as well.

Answer:

In today’s fast-paced world (collocation – adj.+noun), fast foods are becoming increasingly popular due to its their convenience and lack of time to cook food (not parallel. due to their – 1 and 2. since they are easy to consume and do not take much time to prepare.). Many people prefer to have fast food and considers consider/ believe that spending time on cooking meals is a waste of energy and time. I strongly disagree with this notion since this causes adverse ramification on one’s health and reduces love, affection, and bonding in various relationships.

Even though fast food saves our time, it can affect adversely affect (collocation) on one’s health. It is not nutritious and hygienic as home cooked food is (OR It is not AS nutritious AS home cooked food.). The junk foods such as burgers, potato chips, and pizza are high in sodium, trans fat, and oil which affect our health by causing diseases ranging from hypertension and obesity to cardiovascular disorders such as atherosclerosis and heart attacks. For example, in a recent study done by the health department of India revealed that more than 75 percent of persons who consume fast food regularly are obese and around 30 percent are at high risks of heart attacks. (Example is well-structured.)

Moreover, cooking meals and having food together creates bonding between family members. When a mother cooks food dedicatedly for family members it demonstrates her love and caring toward a her family. Furthermore, homecooked foods are extremely nutritious (collocation) and hygienic as it is they are specially prepared by a family member considering their every member’s (one pronoun can’t refer to two different nouns.) health as a prime factor. For instance, whenever I come back to my home on holiday my mother especially cooks food for me which further strengthened strengthens our relationship.

To conclude, despite the fact that consuming fast food saves time, it is undeniable that home-cooked foods help us to stay healthy and fit. If people prefer to have home cooked food rather than high-fat meals, (need a comma – IF … , THEN) it will significantly reduce (collocation) the health problems and instills love and affection in various relationships.

One persistent mistake: Subject-verb/ pronoun disagreement. T.R, L.R, Cohesion score is excellent. G.R score will be low. Bands = 7.0.

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