IELTS Essay Correction: Cooking At Home VS Fast Food – 2.

Cutting Vegetables Cook Fruit Woman Hands Cooking
Cutting Vegetables Cook Fruit Woman Hands Cooking

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Some people believe that cooking at home is a waste of time. They feel it is better to buy fast food which is more convenient and less stressful in modern life. Do you agree or disagree ? Give your opinion and examples from your own experience?

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Please go through the SAMPLE ANSWER as well.

Answer:

Nowadays, fast foods are ubiquitous due to its their convenience and of which (of what?) many people prefer these foods to home-made foods (Nowadays fast food is ubiquitous and many people prefer it over/to/rather than home-made food since it is more convenient.). However I personally disagree the over-consumption of convenient foods since they are not only unhealthy but also expensive.

Firstly, overconsumption of junk food is a potential risk factor for (it is a risk factor not for diseases but for HEALTH) certain diseases such as cardiac disease, stroke and obesity. Undoubtedly, it is evident that fast food vendors add preservatives, emulsifiers and other chemicals to retain the flavour and quality of junk foods. Such (These) unhealthy dietary modifications not only deteriorate the health status but also predispose a person to illness in a long run. In addition to this, these this convenient food, which is cooked without supervision (should be a modifier), seldom replaces the quality of home-made staple diet that is prepared under hygeinic conditions. The reported cases of food-borne infectious disease among fast food lovers, in India, support (the cases can’t support an opinion. They have no subjectivity.) the above opinion. (For instance, a health ministry report has recently revealed that the food-related infectious diseases incidence is about 45 percent higher among those who consume junk food than those who do not.)

Moreover, these readymade foods are high-priced to provide create vague notions about its their quality. The exorbitant price of certain fast foods namely Texas, Al bake, convinces the customers that they are edible as such and they tend to buy these foods frequently. A comparative study conducted in Thailand in 2010, concluded that expenditure of people who depend on junk foods dramatically soared by 30 percent from others who prefered home-made foods (… that those who prefer fast food spend 30 percent more on these foods than those who consume home made food.). Therfore, it is evident that not only the health status but also the wealth status of people rely on fast food consumption.

In conclusion, convenient foods are prevalent among people these days because of its their readymade preparation. However, in my opinion, overdependence on these foods can be detrimental to physical health and economical balance economic well-being. (economic = money related, economical = avoiding waste.)

Some sentence structuring concerns. A few vocabulary issues and some subject-verb/pronoun issues. Please address them to increase your score. Bands = 6.5

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