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IELTS Essay Correction: Cooking At Home VS Fast Food – 3.

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Some people believe that cooking at home is a waste of time. They feel it is better to buy fast food which is more convenient and less stressful in modern life. Do you agree or disagree ? Give your opinion and examples from your own experience?

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Please go through the SAMPLE ANSWER as well.

Answer:

Home cooking is considered as out-dated by a few people in today’s life. I agree with this statement because an ultra-busy life, which that (avoid repeating – which) is dominated by extreme social influences, can never afford such time consuming domestic activities. Moreover, scientific studies have proved that quality of fast food, which was a major concern regarding health, has greatly improved over years.

Owing to fast a hectic life style, cooking at home is nothing less than a daydream for a working person (This is like going to an extreme, but let me point out the mistake: Modifier = “Owing to a hectic lifestyle”. Can this modifier be linked to COOKING? I guess not. A working person, owing to a hectic lifestyle, can not even dream of cooking at home since ….). This is due to the reason that since (brevity!) long working durations and unsocial hour shifts make one’s life too demanding to do cooking at home especially when all family members have jobs. For example, according to a clerical survey held in different public departments of Delhi in 2013 suggested that (“according to a clerical survey” can’t suggest. A clerical survey can.) about ninety percent of working people, especially couples, prefer to eat junk food over homemade food due to busy work schedules and paucity of time.

Moreover, (connector to link this with the previous paragraph – Cohesion) Fast food working bodies companies have improved their product quality with the passage of time. This is because of the reason that (word repetition above) This is primarily attributed to increasing demand of fast food and growing public concern about its quality that have forced food making companies to take initiatives to raise their standards. For instance, a scientific analysis carried out by Mumbai‘s Health Department in 2014 had clearly stated that MacDonald’s and KFC were using high quality oil, which is free of bad cholesterol, in their products.

In conclusion, there is no doubt about the traditional significance of traditional home-made food but one can not deny the fact of modern era’s challenges regarding time availability. To save one’s time, fast food is a good less time consuming and economically viable/ suitable alternative to home cooking. (Avoid using general words such as good, bad in your essay. They’re too vague in meaning. Be specific.)

Some concerns need to be addressed: 1. Lexical resources + brevity. 2. Word repetition. 3. Be specific. Bands = 6.5 to 7.0. 

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