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IELTS Essay Correction: International Marketing Seen As Invasive and Intrusive – 1.

Marketing IELTS PTE

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International marketing is sometimes seen as invasive and an intrusive into the country in question. Others argue that it is a necessary and economical form of education in addition to spreading ideas, language and culture. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

International marketing has tremendously increased (collocation) in the last two decades due to globalization. Many argue that this it (referencing – no need to write international trade) international trade influences and intrudes in other countries native (global influences local/native) culture while others believe that it is essential and educative in understanding innovative ideas, foreign language and varied culture of other nations. I strongly agree with this idea since global marketing helps in a country’s international growth and economic development and provides a better knowledge of other culture.  (the question is on advantages and disadvantages – not on your opinion.)

Global marketing has increased (repeatition of the first few words of the introduction: Global marketing has penetrated the local market and cultures) these days and big companies are selling their products all over the world (This is a general statement that suits the introduction. The first sentence of body paragraph should be on what the body paragraph will explain – advantages. The penetration of global marketing in local cultures has several advantages.). and this This provides everyone access to same international brands irrespective of the place they live. Moreover, international companies get revenue from diverse customers in several markets instead of the single home market only. Thus, it encourages market competitiveness and in economy of the host country. For example(comma here) when Apple launched iPhone X in India, (no comma) it becomes became a  success due to its effective marketing strategies and, consequently, it benefitted the local companies which collaborated with iPhone and contributed to the country’s economic development.

Despite having many these (referencing) advantages there are some numerous drawbacks to of global marketing. Sometimes global business often puts the local business in jeopardy and multinational companies exaggerate their marketing which can mislead the users (There are two different views in this sentence none of which is explained. Please mention a few points – 2 perhaps. But explain them well.). However, selecting a brand or following other culture is a personal choice. Furthermore, it provides opportunity to learn new ideas, language and to understand a foreign culture. For example, ‘Live For Now’ campaign by Pepsi features participants having an exciting time in summer enjoying the drink and featured by Justin Beiber thus exporting their American culture. (Okay, this paragraph should be on disadvantages only. However, the last two sentences are on advantages. Structural issues in the answer.)

In conclusion, although international marketing has many disadvantages, it is undeniable fact (an undeniable fact) that it helps in growth of a country in the global market and spreads new knowledge and culture. (Conclusion is fine. Please add one more sentence. It is too short.)

In conclusion, though international marketing threatens local businesses and strongly influences the minds of local people, it helps in educating people about global developments and trends. The governments should take concerted to protect local businesses from the onslaught of global businesses and preserve native culture and identity.

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