Answer Checking

IELTS Task 1 Academic Correction: Reasons Why Agricultural Land Becomes Less Productive – 1.

IELTS Task 1 Academic

20 minutes,150 words at least.

Answer:

The given pie chart illustrates the percentage share of major causes regarding of agricultural land destruction worldwide whereas and (there is no contrast here that necessitates use of whereas) the table presents explains the effect of these factors (I can’t see any effects.) and total percentage of degraded land in North America, Europe and Oceania in the 1990’s. (…. and the table presents the percentage of land degraded by these factors along with percentage of total degradation in three regions of the world during the 1990s.)

Overall, over-grazing contributed the biggest share in world’s land degradation. The highest and least percentage of land was degraded in Europe and North America respectively. (Well-written.)

Among main causes of global land degradation, over-grazing, with 35 percent share (good use of modifier to present data), topped the list followed by deforestation and over-cultivation which were degraded 30 percent and 28 percent of land respectively. Rest of 7 percent was comprised of trivial factors(You can choose to write this if you’re short of words. Otherwise focus on main features.)

On regional basis, Europe faced the largest percentage of land degradation, which was about a quarter of the total land, followed by Oceania and North America, which were roughly about half a quarter and one twentieth of total agricultural land area. The largest percentage of land destruction in Europe, North America and Oceania is due to deforestation, by about 10 percent, over-cultivation, by roughly 3 percent, and over-grazing, by about 11 percent, respectively. This sentence is too complex since you’ve tried to club THREE main features and THREE data in a single sentence. Please make it a bit simple by reducing data (no demanded in the question) and maintaining main features (demanded in the question)

While deforestation, with about 10 percent share (data), was the largest (main feature) contributor of degradation in Europe, over-cultivation and over-grazing were the primary (main reasons) reasons in North America and Oceania respectively. 

Please write one sentence (similar to the one written above) on factors contributing least to land degradation in each region.

Bands = 6.5.

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