Answer Checking

IELTS Academic Task 1 Correction: Car Trips by Both Genders in 2005 – 1.

The bar chart shows the estimated percentage of car trips taken by drivers in 2005.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting main features, and make comparisons where relevant. 

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20 minutes, 150 words at least.

Answer:

The given bar chart represents presents the percentage of car trips for various purposes by both male and female drivers in 2005.

Overall, the usage of car by both genders varied widely largely. (If the usage varies widely, how can they use cars for the same purposes.) Both genders (If you had used active voice in the first sentence, you could have used they instead of repeating both genders.) predominantly used car for traveling to work place and shopping while cars are it is minimally used by them (passive again) for other purposes.

(Rephrasing the sentence without altering your idea: Overall, both genders used a personal vehicle for travelling to work place and shopping and avoided its (a personal vehicle) use for other purposes.)

Ideally overall should be: Overall, while men used cars for a relatively greater percentage of trips for visiting town, visiting friends, work and recreation, women used personal vehicles for a relatively larger percentage of trips to courses, banks, running errands and shopping. 

Event though, both men and women mainly use car for commuting to work, men account for about 52 percent (of what?) as compared to women with around 39 percent (of what? Percentage is always of something. Both men and women, with 52 percent and 39 percent of trips respectively, mainly use a car for commuting to work.). Followed by this, men use car for recreational and shopping purposes with more than 10 percent and exactly 10 percent respectively Men make about 10 percent of car trips for shopping and recreational purposes. In contrast, the second main use of motorcar by women is for shopping accounting for approximately 17 percent (of what?), followed by courses andrunning errands with almost 12 percent and exactly 10 percent respectively.

Paragraph structuring is not clear. Please make separate paragraphs for MEN and WOMEN and make comparisons. OR Write one paragraph on general trends comparing men and women and another on comparison within men and within women. For the latter, please go through this SAMPLE ANSWER.

Men conduct less than 5 percent car trips for visiting banks, running errands and visiting friends. Similarly, (nothing similar over here.) women use car minimally with less than 5 percent for visiting a town and recreational purposes.

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