The bar chart below shows Scotland’s exports to the rest of the UK and the rest of the world for the year 2014.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Write at least 150 words.
Please read the sample answer as well. SAMPLE ANSWER
The bar chart gives information about the Scotland’s exports in billion pounds
made by Scotland to the rest of the United Kingdom and rest of the World (the world is not same as rest of the world.) during 2014 in billion pounds by nine different categories during 2014.
Clearly, while Scotland (this structure compares Scotland with Chemicals and mineral products. While X, Y – subjects of X and Y should be comparable. Go through the sentence written at the end of this paragraph.) mostly exported
on services related with to business, finance and hotels and restaurants to rest of the World, chemicals and mineral products accounted for the largest exported figures exports for the to rest of the UK. However, the least export was witnessed on electrical and instrument engineering for to rest of the World, and on agriculture, forestry, fishing and mining for to rest of the UK in 2014. (you could have avoided repetition of “rest of the world” and “rest of the UK” by writing separate sentences on each category: Clearly, while services related to business, finance, hotels and restaurants contributed the most to Scotland’s exports to rest of the world, chemicals and mineral products accounted for the largest exports to rest of the UK. ) Scotland’s export on Among Scotland’s exports to rest of the world, business, monetary and accommodation (Do not use synonyms for NOUNS mentioned in the graph. Write EXACT names.) services exports, which was 13.8 billion pounds (the number is for exports, not services.), ranked the first among the other categories in the World. This was followed by the export on chemical and mineral products exports, with a portion contribution of 9.5 billion pounds (place this as a modifier), and export on wholesale and retail exports, with a share of 8.2 billion pounds in the World group. (Writing Among Scotland’s exports to rest of the world at the beginning of the paragraph eliminates the need for “in the world”) In terms of Among the exports performed to the UK, chemical and mineral products’ export ranked as top with a share of 5 billion pounds and this was tracked closely followed by manufacturing of food and drinks with a share of 4.4 billion pounds and electrical and instrument engineering with a 4 billion pounds of exports.
amount net value (amount is incorrect since it may refer to volume, weight, money, etc.) of export made to rest of the world surpassed those of that (net value) of exports made to rest of the UK in this period, except on electrical and instrument engineering. While, rest of the UK had an import (Is this region importing only from Scotland? Perhaps it is importing from Turkey and India as well. Wrong word choice.) of 4 billions pounds, rest of the World had an imports (same mistake as highlighted above) of 2.3 billion pounds in this category.
A number of mistakes. Bands = 6.0. Lower than expected since you wrote “the world” and “the UK” instead of “rest of the world” and “rest of the UK”. Please note:
Rest of the UK = UK – Scotland;
Rest of the world = World – UK.
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