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As a result of tourism and increasing number of people travelling, there is a growing demand for flights. What problems does this cause to the environment? What measures should be taken to solve this problem?
Over the last few decades, the tourism industry has gone through a boom period which has
inadvently inadvertently accelerated the frequency of flights (Excellent introductory sentence!). Even though this leads to environmental problems such as global warming and water pollution, this issue can be addressed effectively if certain measures such as fuel-efficient engines and spill management are implemented. (Wonderful! Just one change: avoid repeating such as in the same sentence. Try using ranging from X to Y)
One of the challenges caused by frequent flights is global warming
secondary to air pollution (raise one issue only and EXPLAIN it). There is an increase in the availability of cheaper flights nowadays that have made many people travel by air more frequently than before. As the number of flights increases so does the emission of carbon dioxide, particles, and pollutants on in air which is irrevocably tied to global warming and irrevocable melting of glaciers (the connection between the two can’t be termed as irrevocable). Nonetheless, this problem can be wiped out reduced/ controlled (wiped out can’t be substantial) substantially, if energy efficient engines are manufactured. For instance, the International Civil Aviation Society encouraged all the aviation industry to use low carbon emission jet engines to mitigate the impact on the environment. As a result, the carbon dioxide emitted per passenger kilometer can bring to a lower level has fallen by 10 percent in 2016.
(A structural alternative: Though your structure is also acceptable, you can choose to mention PROBLEMS in one paragraph and SOLUTIONS in another.)
Another factor that causes an environmental problem is water pollution (Water pollution is not causing environmental pollution. Both are caused by industries and aviation.). To make it clear, airports
make use of an extensive amount of fuels and chemicals for functioning (operations). This (there is no previous mention of spilled fuel. No reference point.) spilled fuels and fluids fuel is spilled on the ground and is diverted to nearby streams, rivers, and coastal areas where the aquatic organisms live. Eventually, this process is not only the polluting the water bodies but also killing the aquatic lives. This issue is controlled at large if an airport installs spill control equipments and structures such as vacuum and absorbent.
To conclude, due to the popularity of tourism, more and more flights are
on air being operated nowadays. Even though it is certainly true that rapid growth of aviation industry predisposes to (predispose is used when something is LIKELY to happen as a consequence. For instance: Changes in the Earth’s angle of rotation may predispose it to become barren.) results in global warming and pollution of water, it can be effectively tackled if the above said measurements taken measures are enforced properly.
A good attempt. Lexical Resources are fine, except some inaccurately used words. Task response is good. Grammar is good. Cohesion is also fine. Bands = 6.5 to 7.0.
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