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IELTS Essay Correction: Travel Necessary to Learn About Other Nations – 2.

travel ielts pte

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Some people think that travel is necessary to learn about other nations. Others, however, think that TV and the Internet are the best ways to learn about other countries. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

20 minutes, 200 to 300 words at least.

Please read the SAMPLE ANSWER as well.

Answer:

These days, people are willing to learn about different countries. Some people think that travelling is the best way to obtain knowledge about other countries since people get different firsthand experience when they visit personally, while others believe that people can get information about other countries through browsing and watching television as these this information are is already available on various websites media.

On one hand, travelling plays a crucial role in order to acquire acquiring knowledge about different territories. When people trip to different kingdom, regions/ areas/ countries they gain knowledge not only geographically about/ of geography (geographically is an adjective while about is a preposition. Parallelism violation.) but also about/ of various cultures and customs as well (not only … but also …. includes as well). For example, a study have has shown that when people travel personally to another other countries (Please read “Another vs Other“), they get hand on firsthand experience about heritage (This is not an example: For example, a recent French study has shown that tourists who travel personally to France are more aware about French culture, heritage, food, and geography that those French citizens who learn about the country online.). In other words, they can learn about host country‘s history, about legends and archeological monuments only by visiting that country. Besides, they experience a sense of responsibility to represent themselves as a responsible tourist to follow their rules and regulations. Furthermore,they would be able to make new connections and friends. (If you raise a point, please make sure that it explained. While you’ve explained the heritage point, the last two sentences mention two new points and you’ve explained none of them. Pleas follow proper paragraph structuring – idea, explain, example. Discuss.)

On the other hand, some people argue that why we should pay extra money on travelling when we get information with television and internet (Do not raise a question: Some people question the rationale of travelling to a country when they can learn about it through television and the Internet.). For instance, with the help of internet we can travel across the world. People who wish to visit difficult access continents such as Antarctica which are difficult to access/ travel due to harsh climate and topography/ landscape, but it would be difficult for them to travel such continents due to harsh weather. Thus, they can obtain all kind of knowledge with the click of a button. Additionally, televisions have different channels including Discovery, National Geographic, Fox traveller and TLC which are specifically dedicated to unveil different cultures and customs 24 hours 7 days a week without any cost without any burden on the viewer’s pocket.

In conclusion, there are some benefits to gain of gaining knowledge about different countries through internet and television, but in my opinion, the best way to gain information about other territories is travelling. (write one more sentence on why you think it is the best. You need to explain your opinion.)

Please note that there are several sentence structuring issues. The paragraph structure needs to be improved as well. Let us discuss this essay. 

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