Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Friends Through Social Media – 4.

Many people make friends through social sites and chatroom. Others believe that it is not good idea to make friends without meeting them face to face. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion and revelant examples.

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

With the growing use of internet, many users today find it convenient to make friends through social media websites and chatrooms. However, I strongly disapprove of this new trend, rather, I and advocate traditional face to face interaction as the best way of developing friendship since relationships that are born out of such interactions are much stronger and long lasting (Excellent sentence! Conveys the idea clearly while maintaining task response and cohesion.). Moreover, it is much safer for an individual to develop friendship with a person who is somehow known to them.

Friendship that develops out of direct personal interactions with the other between individuals is seen to be much stronger than that born out of chatting on the internet. This is due to the fact that millions of years of evolution has wired human brains for personal contact through which they have developed social relationships and survived the harsh environment. For example, each one of us have would surely remember one our schoolmates or a person from our graduate school, who is our (our = plural, each one = singular) friend for life (lifelong friend). A recent survey from one of the english daily newspaper revealed that only 10 percent of active social media users had internet friends as their best friends. (do not write two examples in the same sentence. Please explain why friendships are weaker on the internet.)

Secondly, it is safer to befriend persons who are known to individuals for example, through family or neighbourhood, than making friends with strangers on facebook or whatsapp. Due to these untrustworthy relationships, people end up losing their valuable money and sometimes even their life after getting involved in friendship with people with criminals who develop fake identity on social networking sites.  For instance, there have been numerous incidents incidences (incidents or incidence – incidence = frequency. High incidence of crime = high frequency of crime. Incident = individual occurrance) , where in which innocent people have lost immense amount of money after revealing their credit card details to their online friends on facebook.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that although it is much easier to make numerous friends online, it is always better to get involved into such relationships with a person whom we meet regularly. These regular interactions not only help in building long lasting bonds of friendship, but also prevent people from falling into the traps of unknown fake personalities of on social media.

An excellent response. Task response, cohesion, grammar and lexical resources are good. A few concerns few and far between. Bands = 7+.

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