Prevention is better than cure. Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. To what extant do you agree?
40 minutes, 250 words at least.
Nowadays, there is an alarming increase in the number of people who
are suffering suffer from many ailments. Many Some people (word repetition: many) argue that the huge amount of money that the government spends on researching research and treatment is not worthwhile and many (I guess these are the same people) believe that it is better to invest the amount in conducting public awareness campaigns. While I agree that increasing awareness about preventive measures are is more economical and efficient in controlling many diseases, I believe that it should not be done at the cost of researching research and treatment of diseases.
Clearly, not all diseases can be cured or prevented with public awareness or education. There are
many several/ numerous (word repetition: many) diseases such as cancer, genetic disorders, congenital anomalies and road traffic accidents which require urgent and immediate medical treatment and need to use many high tech advanced machines like such as a mechanical ventilator or a pace maker. Treatment for many disorders are still not known and there is utmost need to develop new medicines and technology to save valuable human lives. For example, recently in the UK a new medicine to treat cancer was developed by a group of researchers in a project where they spend spent around one million pounds but was were able to save hundreds of human life. lives. Similarly, positron emission scanner was developed recently which has revolutionized medical diagnosis and it helps (to avoid the need of parallelism, please use a pronoun after and) a physician in cancer staging and its treatment. (The ideas are clearly mentioned and explained in a logical manner. Good job!)
On the other hand, there are numerous diseases that can be prevented by imparting/ providing adequate health education and teaching preventive measures. Many communicable diseases such as AIDS, cholera, typhoid and dengue can be prevented by instilling and infusing knowledge about sanitation and taking some proactive measures. (beautifully written. Clear ideas, excellent task response. No grammar issue.) Government should launch health campaigns to educate people from all levels (sections) of society and should encourage them to follow healthy life style which in turn prevents many health issues. For instance,
in a recent study done by the World Health Organisation WHO revealed that after a massive health education campaign on ‘Harmful effects of smoking’ , which was run globally, (this should be a modifier) reduced the incidence of Tuberculosis by 30 percent.
To conclude, it is an undeniable fact that even though medical research and treatment are expensive, they save precious human lives and in same way preventive measures and health education also
plays play a pivotal role in controlling various diseases. Government should take concerted steps and should fund both methods in order to make a better and healthy nation.
Bands = 7.0.