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IELTS Essay Correction: Travel Necessary to Learn About Other Nations.

Some people think that travel is necessary to learn about other nations. Others, however, think that TV and the Internet are the best ways to learn about other countries. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

Tourism industry is growing by leaps and bounds with each passing day. As a result of this, many people consider frequent travelling to different nations to learn their varied cultural heritage since personal interactions with the local people are essential for experiencing the taste of new cultures cultural background. However, the others feel that the internet and television shows are good alternatives to travelling to learn about the unknown traditions of a foreign land. (Good introduction. Both views are adequately covered.)

Travelling to other nations to learn about their cultures and rituals offers distinct advantages over studying about them through the internet and television shows. Travelling allows an individual experience the cultural elements such as food, clothing, and rituals along with geography, history and politics of a country closely. It offers an opportunity to discuss these issues with the natives. (Please explain the idea before switching to the example. An example is not an explanation of the idea.) For instance, governments of different countries around the world are organizing organise various festivals throughout the year to depict their culture evidently. These festivals are not only a good learning experience for the tourists, but also give them a real time feel of the traditional values of the local population. A study conducted by the government of the state of Gujarat in India revealed that their its tourist inflow almost doubled after they it started organizing the Kuchch festival since the tourists wanted to learn more about the diverse traditional values of the region after advertisements on the official tourism website.

However, many persons support the view that internet and television shows are good alternatives to travelling since visiting a country requires a long leave from one’s job. Moreover, frequent holiday vacations can also be quiet expensive since it they may require commutation through expensive flights and stays in luxury hotels. However, careful budget allocations while choosing these amenities and healthy working relationships with co-workers in an organization can solve these issues. (You’ve not discussed how a person can learn about other countries through the internet and television. Task response score suffers.)

Conclusively, In conclusion, I strongly feel that though the internet and travel shows on television provide a good source of information for the cultural traditions around the world, it is no match to the experiences gained through tourism due to its (One pronoun refer to two different nouns. The first it refers to the internet and television shows, the latter its refers to tourism.) far reaching effects on one’s memories. Moreover, personal interactions with the local population and participation in the traditional festivals helps to develop better understanding between people of different communities and thus bridges the cultural gaps that exists between them. (Clearly expressed and explained your opinion. Good job!)

Please address the Task Response issues.

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