Answer Checking

IELTS Essay Correction: Recent Advances in Medical Science.

Recent advances in medical science have resulted in increased life expectancy over the past few years. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

40 minutes, 250 words at least.


Medical science has progressed immensely over the past two decades leading to increased survival of many critical patients, thus increasing the overall life expectancy of the individuals. I strongly feel this is a positive development since the increased survival of the younger population (just mention the idea. Reserve details such as younger, road accidents for body paragraphs.) has contributed heavily to the increased productivity of the nation. Secondly, the advanced surgical techniques have raised the quality of life of many debilitated patients over the years. (Excellent introduction! Opening sentence, opinion and reasons are adequately mentioned.)

Numerous recent advances in trauma and critical care have brought about increased survival of road traffic accident victims. These patients mostly belong to the younger age group and have the ability to contribute immensely to the productivity of the country. Hence, each such life saved adds up greatly to the global economy (clear link between medical technology, life expectancy and advantages. Good job!). A recent survey conducted by a leading Indian medical journal stated that with thirty percent increase in the number of government run trauma centers in major metropolitan cities in India, the reported accident victims who survived after the treatment increased by three times. This has tremendously benefitted the Indian economy. (Mention the benefit.)

Moreover, the advancements in the field of surgery have reduced the sufferings of the elderly population as well. Numerous surgical techniques have not only relieved the older people of the debilitating pain caused by the degenerative diseases, but have also (have is connected to both “not only, but also”) improved their quality of life dramatically. Therefore, these advancements have given them a chance to lead an active social life and participate in various vocational activities. (The idea is mentioned and well-explained.) A recent study in a leading news magazine revealed that there has been a 2.5 times increase in successful knee replacement surgeries in India over the past 5 years, which has given the elderly population a new lease of life. (A well constructed example with exccellent task response.)

To conclude, I would like to emphasize that recent advances in medical science have contributed largely to the nation not only by consistently saving the life of many citizens who belong to the economically productive age group, but also by improving the lifestyles of the elderly population. Such developments in the field of medicine need to continue for the sustained progress of the society and economic growth of the country. Therefore, the advantages of such developments far outweigh the disadvantages.

Bravo! The answer scores well on all four counts. Bands = 8.0 at least.

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